Saturday, November 27, 2010

You Can Have Me by Sidewalk Prophets

I will love you enough to let go...

I heard this song on the radio this morning, and though it's not the first time I've heard it, it really struck me today as being so much about where I am right now. It's called You Can Have Me by the group Sidewalk Prophets.

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams

Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering
I will love You enough to let go

Lord, I give you my life
I give you my life
When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?

Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
My Father, my love
You can have me

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my first real American Thanksgiving in 4 years. I am quite excited- though I have to admit, a few days on the Atlantic Coast sound pretty good as well. Thanksgiving is a time for us to reflect on all we have been blessed with, and I have been showered in blessings.
  • This past weekend, for example, I was able to spend time with friends in southern Pennsylvania that included riding horses across fields under a nearly-full moon.
  • Despite four moves in the past 12 months (most recently, this past weekend) I have always had a warm and comfortable place to live.
  • Leading up to Christmas break (when I can't really work) I have a 14 day sub job in 7th grade science, meaning I'll have a good income in the first part of December to help make up for the layoff.
  • I have wireless internet and skype which allows me to talk for free with my friends who are so far away and stay connected to their lives (the same was true in talking to my family when I was away).
  • God's call on my heart to teach in an international Christian school is constantly being confirmed to me, allowing me to start actively looking for a job in the weeks to come and giving me direction for the next steps in life.
  • More than anything else, I am blessed by knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. In Him are all things.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Exhausted

Exhausted. It's only Tuesday, but it's 9:15 and already I can't keep my head up. It's not that unusual. I can't think of many times in my life when fatigue wasn't the norm. Somehow, the cold makes it that much worse, and now, big fat rain drops pelt the windows. At the moment I'm having trouble even considering schools for next year that are in the cold northern hemisphere. I don't have a job in the morning tomorrow, just the afternoon, and actually I'm glad. I could use a long night's sleep, and a long quiet time in the morning, without the usual time constraints. I hate feeling rushed in my times with God. It won't always be like this- slow mornings sprinkled in. I'm going to have a long term sub position starting at the beginning of December and going until Christmas- a huge blessing, but definitely a tiring one. For now I'll just roll into bed and listen to the splatter of the rain and drift away.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Aging

Well, this weekend I turned 30. It's funny- I see the number, I hear the number, but I still can't quite connect it with myself. I make jokes about staying 29 forever, mostly because I can't reconcile being 30 with who I am on the inside. In Spanish, the verb for becoming a new age is not "turn", but rather, "complete". I have just completed 30 years, 3 decades. I like that verb, because I like the idea of striving to complete my years well. Those of us who know God, when we come to the end of our lives, want to hear the words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

I guess for me, completing years well, in a way that is pleasing to God, is about serving him and glorifying him with whatever life gives me. I don't know much about what the years will bring, but I do know they will bring joy and sorrow, pain and happiness. None of us really knows what is coming, and so maybe in that sense, being in transition gives me an advantage: I am less surprised by the surprises. The unknowns cause me to stop and listen for God more deeply and more frequently than I would otherwise. I experience new depths of his love as I trust him to provide for next week and next month and next year. Both my Bible study last week and the sermon on Sunday talked about waiting on the Lord- not waiting for an event (which is exhausting) but waiting on God (which is renewing). So I wait and I trust, because I am expecting great things in these next 30 years, great growth with God and great experiences of his grace.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Dear Elected Officials

Dear Elected Officials,

I don't care who you are or what party you align with or where you are from. What I want from you is this:

  • Support for the programs that help those who need it most, those who don't have a voice, whose low incomes can't feed their families or provide for them in basic ways.
  • Laws that reel in the costs of health care, making both the services and the insurance more affordable for everyone.
  • Laws that protect the most helpless among us: the unborn.
  • Policies that protect us and our environment by restricting toxins in products, that support public transportation or make it easier to reduce and reuse than to buy new.
  • Foreign policies and actions that support human rights, not corrupt leaders who disregard them.
  • And, for school officials at the local, state, and national level: lower class sizes. It's the number one thing we can do to make positive gains in education. I don't need fancy paper or a laminating machine, I don't need my own printer or another workshop on assessment, I don't need a PTA luncheon or new gymnasium. I need to have time and energy to help my kids.
Really, is it too much to ask?
Clare

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Inevitable Result of Being Alive

"Much of what we call the trial of faith is the inevitable result of being alive." Oswald Chambers

This quote made me laugh this morning- and think. How much of what I/we complain about in life is really just "the inevitable result of being alive"? Traffic, bad days at work, tiredness, colds and flus, financial ups and downs, family conflicts. I wonder how much time and energy I waste on these inevitables, instead of focusing on the great love of God. As a result of being alive we are going to have trials and pain and difficulties. Yet, righteous and faithful, God's love walks us through all these things. Yes, we do occasionally truly walk through "the valley of the shadow of death" and experience a real test and trial of our faith.

Maybe it's just because I am a pessimist by nature, but I find that I need perhaps more reminders than most that it is God's love that triumphs, that that is the truth of the world, not the evil and suffering that are so prevalent. When I truly know him and know his love, the inevitables fade from view, not because they aren't there but because I'm not paying attention to them; I expect them. It's like the more I know Christ the wider my vision becomes and yet the narrower my view. I gain the grander vision of the Kingdom and narrow my view from the distractions and treasures of this world. I find that this wider vision and narrower view allow me to embrace life and people more fully. When I see things as "inevitable" they just don't rattle me as much.