Merry Christmas

Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.

Waiting

Zechariah and Elizabeth waited to get pregnant, then they waited for the birth, then they waited for John to grow up to fulfill the calling God had on his life. Mary and Joseph waited for Jesus' birth. Simeon waited so many years to see the Messiah, to see the promise fulfilled. All of Isreal waited for the coming of the Messiah. Mary and Joseph waited for Jesus to grow up, treasuring and pondering in their hearts the words spoken about him, they waited as he learned the family trade and lived 30 years before they could even begin to understand the mysteries of his birth.

Waiting. We're all waiting on something, trusting God's timing that just as he did with the birth and life and death of his Son, he will bring all things at their proper time. I have to say, I'm not the biggest fan of waiting, of putting the Chrismtas holiday (and school break) right smack in the middle of international schools job hunting season. The stockings are hung by the chimney with care, just as the applications have all been sent out with a prayer. Waiting.

One of my favorite songs of all time is 'O Come O Come Emmanuel'. One of my favorite lines is "Rejoice, rejoice, Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Isreal" reminding me that we are to rejoice in the waiting, rejoice in knowing that Emmanuel will come again, rejoice knowing that our Savior lives and our God is faithful. Rejoice not inspite of the waiting, but because of the waiting. Answers will come at the proper time, and Christ will come again, just as it was promised.

TCK's

TCK stands for Third Culture Kid, people who spend a significant number of their developmental years living outside their parents' passport country. There are a few of them in my classes right now and today I had the opportunity to talk to one of them. He told me about his time in China and his school there and how hard it was to come back "home". As he talked, my heart went out to this student. Two years later, he still very clearly misses China and doesn't feel at home here. He blossomed and lit up as we talked. I loved it just as much as he did, connected with someone who knew my experiences and understood what I was talking about.

I was also reading Matthew this morning and thinking about how Jesus himself was a TCK. Joseph took him and Mary to Egypt where they had to adapt to a new culture, language, and life. And they too returned, to Galilee, and had to resettle at home. A great reflection for this advent season, that we await the coming of the King, a Lord who understands our struggles, even those as global citizens.

Letting Go

Some days, I just really miss Argentina and everyone there. I woke up that way today, missing my kiddos especially. So how excited was I when one of them chatted with my on facebook? Say what you will about facebook- it gave him an easy way to get in touch with me and say hello. And today especially, I appreciated it.

It's job hunting season and the sad news is that it does not appear that BAICA has any job openings for next year, much less one that would fit for me. Murphy's Law I guess- it's probably the only year in BAICA history that they're not hiring. And though I am excited about some of the other prospective jobs out there, I do feel like I am losing Argentina all over again as I lose the hope of returning. Letting go is hard, and I am finding that in comes in waves and stages.

It's at that point that I have to stop and trust that God does indeed have a plan for my life, that it's not as aimless and wandering as it sometimes feels, that if this door is closed it's because he has another one to open. Trust is a daily exercise- a daily choosing to lay down my life to the King of kings.

Science Teacher!

Yesterday I started my temp job as a 7th grade science teacher. I'll be subbing for this teacher at least until Christmas break, and most likely a week or two afterward as well. Luckily, she is extremely organized and the other 7th grade science teacher is very friendly and helpful, so it's not to overwhelming. I do find it a bit ironic though, because science is really not my specialty. Today we did a lab, which had its rough moments but went well. Only 4 test tubes were broken and one substance spilled all over- luckily it was just salt:) The first two days have been fun, but have also brought out the stark contrasts between the large public school and the small international Christian school.

• The distance between teachers and students seems weird to me here. I am so accustomed to interacting with the students on a deeper level, not only because of class size (though that definitely plays a part) but also because of the nature of the school and teacher-student relationships.
  
• My instinct to pray with the kids or talk about prayer with them is still there, and I find it pops into me head fairly often. The teacher I am subbing for is out for hip surgery, and I keep wanting to pray for her in class or with other teachers or something like that. A few weeks ago a second grader told me in class that his grandpa was in the hospital. I couldn't think how to respond other than saying we could pray for him!
  
• Then there's the difference between teaching 5 classes once each verses one class 5 times a day (which is what I do now). Mostly, it's just a difference in the size of the school. As a sub, the set up is nice because I only have to get my brain around one lesson per day, but I will admit, I'm pretty sick of it by the end of the day, or by the time I've read the same answers 120+ times.
  

I'm very thankful to have this job and bit of consistency in my life. The staff and teachers at the school are wonderful and have made me feel very welcome- something you don't always find in the public schools.

You Can Have Me by Sidewalk Prophets

I will love you enough to let go...

I heard this song on the radio this morning, and though it's not the first time I've heard it, it really struck me today as being so much about where I am right now. It's called You Can Have Me by the group Sidewalk Prophets.

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams

Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering
I will love You enough to let go

Lord, I give you my life
I give you my life
When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?

Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
My Father, my love
You can have me

Thanksgiving

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my first real American Thanksgiving in 4 years. I am quite excited- though I have to admit, a few days on the Atlantic Coast sound pretty good as well. Thanksgiving is a time for us to reflect on all we have been blessed with, and I have been showered in blessings.

• This past weekend, for example, I was able to spend time with friends in southern Pennsylvania that included riding horses across fields under a nearly-full moon.
  
• Despite four moves in the past 12 months (most recently, this past weekend) I have always had a warm and comfortable place to live.
  
• Leading up to Christmas break (when I can't really work) I have a 14 day sub job in 7th grade science, meaning I'll have a good income in the first part of December to help make up for the layoff.
• I have wireless internet and skype which allows me to talk for free with my friends who are so far away and stay connected to their lives (the same was true in talking to my family when I was away).
  
• God's call on my heart to teach in an international Christian school is constantly being confirmed to me, allowing me to start actively looking for a job in the weeks to come and giving me direction for the next steps in life.
  
• More than anything else, I am blessed by knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord. In Him are all things.
  

Exhausted

Exhausted. It's only Tuesday, but it's 9:15 and already I can't keep my head up. It's not that unusual. I can't think of many times in my life when fatigue wasn't the norm. Somehow, the cold makes it that much worse, and now, big fat rain drops pelt the windows. At the moment I'm having trouble even considering schools for next year that are in the cold northern hemisphere. I don't have a job in the morning tomorrow, just the afternoon, and actually I'm glad. I could use a long night's sleep, and a long quiet time in the morning, without the usual time constraints. I hate feeling rushed in my times with God. It won't always be like this- slow mornings sprinkled in. I'm going to have a long term sub position starting at the beginning of December and going until Christmas- a huge blessing, but definitely a tiring one. For now I'll just roll into bed and listen to the splatter of the rain and drift away.

Aging

Well, this weekend I turned 30. It's funny- I see the number, I hear the number, but I still can't quite connect it with myself. I make jokes about staying 29 forever, mostly because I can't reconcile being 30 with who I am on the inside. In Spanish, the verb for becoming a new age is not "turn", but rather, "complete". I have just completed 30 years, 3 decades. I like that verb, because I like the idea of striving to complete my years well. Those of us who know God, when we come to the end of our lives, want to hear the words, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

I guess for me, completing years well, in a way that is pleasing to God, is about serving him and glorifying him with whatever life gives me. I don't know much about what the years will bring, but I do know they will bring joy and sorrow, pain and happiness. None of us really knows what is coming, and so maybe in that sense, being in transition gives me an advantage: I am less surprised by the surprises. The unknowns cause me to stop and listen for God more deeply and more frequently than I would otherwise. I experience new depths of his love as I trust him to provide for next week and next month and next year. Both my Bible study last week and the sermon on Sunday talked about waiting on the Lord- not waiting for an event (which is exhausting) but waiting on God (which is renewing). So I wait and I trust, because I am expecting great things in these next 30 years, great growth with God and great experiences of his grace.

Dear Elected Officials

Dear Elected Officials,

I don't care who you are or what party you align with or where you are from. What I want from you is this:

• Support for the programs that help those who need it most, those who don't have a voice, whose low incomes can't feed their families or provide for them in basic ways.
  
• Laws that reel in the costs of health care, making both the services and the insurance more affordable for everyone.
  
• Laws that protect the most helpless among us: the unborn.
  
• Policies that protect us and our environment by restricting toxins in products, that support public transportation or make it easier to reduce and reuse than to buy new.
• Foreign policies and actions that support human rights, not corrupt leaders who disregard them.
• And, for school officials at the local, state, and national level: lower class sizes. It's the number one thing we can do to make positive gains in education. I don't need fancy paper or a laminating machine, I don't need my own printer or another workshop on assessment, I don't need a PTA luncheon or new gymnasium. I need to have time and energy to help my kids.
  

Really, is it too much to ask?
Clare

The Inevitable Result of Being Alive

"Much of what we call the trial of faith is the inevitable result of being alive." Oswald Chambers

This quote made me laugh this morning- and think. How much of what I/we complain about in life is really just "the inevitable result of being alive"? Traffic, bad days at work, tiredness, colds and flus, financial ups and downs, family conflicts. I wonder how much time and energy I waste on these inevitables, instead of focusing on the great love of God. As a result of being alive we are going to have trials and pain and difficulties. Yet, righteous and faithful, God's love walks us through all these things. Yes, we do occasionally truly walk through "the valley of the shadow of death" and experience a real test and trial of our faith.

Maybe it's just because I am a pessimist by nature, but I find that I need perhaps more reminders than most that it is God's love that triumphs, that that is the truth of the world, not the evil and suffering that are so prevalent. When I truly know him and know his love, the inevitables fade from view, not because they aren't there but because I'm not paying attention to them; I expect them. It's like the more I know Christ the wider my vision becomes and yet the narrower my view. I gain the grander vision of the Kingdom and narrow my view from the distractions and treasures of this world. I find that this wider vision and narrower view allow me to embrace life and people more fully. When I see things as "inevitable" they just don't rattle me as much.

I wonder that too...

A quote from my current read (God Grew Tired of Us, a memoir of the Lost Boys of Sudan, by John Bul Dau). Here's a passage where he describes his cultural orientation class as he was preparing to move from Kenya to Syracuse, New York:

"Then he said, "I will show you how cold it gets in American." He reached into a box and pulled out something that looked like a piece of glass, only rounded like a river rock.
"Feel this," he said, and he placed it in my hand. It felt so cold, yet it seemed to burn.
"Crush it," he said.
I tried to close my hand, but I could not crush it.
"That is water. It gets so cold in America that water sometimes turns hard. We call this an 'ice cube.' Feel it, and feel the cold in America."
I was amazed. How could people live in a land where water turned to stone?

Appreciating Fall

I'm trying really hard to appreciate fall, and not simply gripe about the cold (it's actually a bit balmy today!), and I have to admit that the colors are beautiful right now. In fact, I don't think I dislike fall so much as I dislike what it means- that summer is over and winter is coming. I haven't yet fully developed my "How I am going to survive winter in Michigan" plan, but the covered overnight parking that I currently have is going to play a big role. Meanwhile I am doing what I can to enjoy the cider and scarves and colors and not think so much about what is coming. I am also going to (try to) not think about the current season or weather in Buenos Aires. As beautiful as fall is in Michigan (and fall is much nicer here than there), nothing can really beat a Bs As spring.

So, in my efforts to appreciate and not gripe, here are my favorite things about fall in Michigan:

1. The colors, of course.
2. Long Lake trip, especially the bonfires.
   
3. Apple cider
4. Really good apples and pears.
   
5. Curling up with cups of tea
6. Michigan Football. I've enjoyed watching it a bit this year after 3 years of ignoring it. A good fall day will always feel like U of M football to me.
   
7. Getting to use my full array of scarves and jackets.
   
8. Lots of skating to follow (and this year, even watch!)

Sara Groves - I Saw What I Saw

City Girl

Well, the MegaBus to Chicago wasn't too bad. They were extremely punctual and the bus was very clean. Downside was the very small seat. Maybe the seat wouldn't have felt so small if the person next to me wasn't spilling over into mine or the person in front of me didn't lean all the way back. At any rate, it was a safe and easy trip.

For the weekend, we got lucky with GORGEOUS weather! And I realized, while downtown, that part of my missing Argentina is missing the city. I miss taking the bus to work and the train downtown. I miss taking the bus to another city for the weekend. I miss the bustle of the city and the different kinds of people. I miss knowing the city and walking in the city and just being in the city! Before living in Argentina I never would have considered myself a city girl, but I think I am turning into one!

Being in the city definitely made me homesick for Buenos Aires, for the only city I've ever really known. I loved knowing how to get around and where to go and great places to walk. I do miss it a lot right now. It's spring there and everything is warming up and beginning to bloom. In a few weeks the Jacaranda trees will blossom. I am trying to enjoy the fall here- watching the leaves change and fall, eating fall foods, and relishing in the crisp air. But I tell ya, it's hard to beat Buenos Aires in spring.

Taking the Bus

Tomorrow evening I am doing something I have never done before: I am riding a bus, in the United States of America, to another city. Now, I know this won't be Via Bariloche or FlechaBus or any of my other Argentine favorites, but I am hoping I won't regret not taking the train. It's only a 5 hour ride to Chicago, but since the only American bus service I can picture is Greyhound... we'll see. I am actually taking MegaBus, which I have been told is nice. I will miss my medialunas and big plush reclining seat though- and the front row on a double-decker.

I'll let you know how it goes!

Suffering

In Argentina, my friends and I had a phrase we would tell ourselves or one another when someone was complaining about life: "well, there is genocide in the world." Not meant to be taken lightly, it was our friendly and gentle way to reminder each other that we don't have anything to complain about in light of the suffering going on in the world around us.

That suffering, in its various forms, has been coming to my attention a lot lately. One reason is because of the books I've been reading. In August I read A Thousand Sisters, a memoir by Lisa Shannon. It highlights the violence in the Eastern Congo, and especially the sexual violence against women and girls. This past week I read The Enough Moment by John Prendergast and Don Cheadle (actor from Hotel Rwanda), which discusses the fight to end genocide (esp in Sudan), child soldiers (abducted by the Lord's Resistance Army), and rape as a weapon of war (esp in the Congo). One thing that I liked about both of these books is that they are both informative and hopeful. The Enough Moment especially highlights repeatedly the success stories of peace and rehabilitation in Africa, and how they can be used as frameworks for solving the current conflicts.

When we read these stories and hear the testimonials, the question becomes, what are we going to do about it? Luckily, organizations like The Enough Project and Run for Congo Women make it easy to get involved. You can sponsor a rape survivor in the Congo or support schools in refugee camps in Darfur. At the website for RAISE Hope For Congo you can send emails to electronics manufacturers asking for conflict-free products. It takes about 30 seconds. We can write or call our Senators and Congressmen encouraging them to raise awareness and support legislation that works towards peace, civilian protection, and the prosecution of the leaders involved.

But we don't have to go to Africa to see suffering either. I see it in communities all around me. And it's easy to get discouraged and feel small. But I've realized this week that it's not about feeling small. It's about taking small steps. We can all find ways to donate our resources: our goods or talents or money or time. You can google local aid organizations and find contact information to find ways to get involved. I don't have a lot of goods or money right now, but I do have time, and I have educational skills. I'm hoping to be able to do some tutoring or general volunteer work in the near future. I've just become too aware that the only thing separating me from those around me who are homeless or living in poverty is that I have a large and generous support network.

So, what do you want to do? Read a book (I got mine at the library) and raise your awareness? Send an email to electronics companies? Support a woman in the Congo? Write a letter to your representatives? Donate used goods that are still in good condition? Donate food, money, or warm clothes to someone in your community? Volunteer at a soup kitchen? At a tutoring program? Get involved in an even bigger way? I don't know what we will each do, but I know that as a child of the King, I can't do nothing. My God loves each one of them, each one of us, way too much for me to do nothing.

Finding My Niche

Substitute teaching is a job with many pros and cons. I love that I can take days off whenever I want, that the work day is short (8 hours-tops), and that when the day is over, whatever it was, "it's not my problem". It can, however, also be a stressful job. You never know exactly what type of situation you are walking into and classroom management is rarely easy. You have to be "on" every minute of the day. A lot of my assignments so far this year have been in special education classrooms, and I have discovered that these are my favorite assignments.

Yesterday I spent a delightful day in a Post High School classroom. This is where students attend when they've graduated for high school. It provides services until they reach age 26. The student were odd and quirky, at times a bit rude (burping was the name of the game), but eager to please hard working. We had a lot of laughter throughout our day. We worked on academics and life skills, went to job sites, and worked out at the Y. But more than anything, these "kids" had a warm and loving place to spend their day and work on skills and habits to help them be independent in life.

Sometimes I think we make life too complicated; we make God too complicated. The students I worked with yesterday, or in the Autism class last week, or the basic classroom the week before, don't usually contemplate great questions in life. They face struggles and challenges that we can't imagine. But you know what? Most of them also face life with a smile. I saw this so much in Argentina with Andres. No one in that school knew more pain, yet no one knew more joy, and I know that was not a coincidence. Andres loved God deeply and fully, in a way that I don't know if I am able to. He wasn't hindered by my doubts and distractions.

I hope I get more jobs working with the special students in the community around me (One of those teachers already has me reserved for a day in October and a day in November). Those students are so much more open to life, open to love. It's there that I have found my niche as a sub, giving them their space to be their quirky selves, supporting them through challenges, and guiding them through their day. They have so much to teach us, if we take the time to listen.

Master Plan

The sub job I have this week is a little slow, so it didn't take me long to read a short biography titled "It Is Well with My Soul: The Extraordinary Life of a 106-Year-Old Woman" by/about Ella Mae Cheeks Johnson. It's a quick read, but the kind of book that you want to slow down and savor at the same time.

Several quotes jumped out to me as I read and I thought, I have to remember that one. The first quote was, "I just wanted to see the wider world, and think about my place in it. When I look back over the course of my life, I realize I never had a master plan; I let the Master plan." This really struck me because so many times I can relate to that. I definitely don't have the life I thought I would when I was a child, and in the past 18 months I've done a lot of thinking about where my life is going and where I want it to go. And the truth is, even though I have goals, they remain vague, and I don't have a 'master plan' per se. I know that I want to honor and glorify God in all I do. I know that I want to be where he wants me, where I can use the gifts and talents that he has given me for his glory. I want the very best thing that is available: to know Christ- so I want to know him more deeply and more fully. And I want whatever leads me to those things. Which doesn't exactly answer a lot of the logistical questions in life... which is, I suppose, why I can rest, knowing that even without a master plan, the Master has a plan. What a comfort that is in this time of transition and wondering!

This is the other quote that really struck me: "The most important lesson I've learned over the course of a lifetime: not just surviving, or getting along, but being useful. Too often we remember, "Ask and ye shall receive; seek and ye shall find," and we believe all we have to do is ask. When we don't get the response we seek right away, we think our prayer has gone unanswered. Patience is essential. Heaven is always here, within us, if we have the patience to discover it. Sometimes we pray for things that we aren't, in fact, supposed to get- things that are bad for us. Maybe "no answer" means we need more time to discover that answer on our own, or to find out that another choice is possible. Not having a prayer answered right away doesn't mean He doesn't care; maybe He thinks this is just not the time. Maybe there's something else in the future that will help. Compassion is patience in its essence. As it says in Psalm 27, "Wait on the Lord: Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart."'

Wardrobe Change

Transition: movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another; change.

I'm switching my wardrobe today, changing out the summer clothes for the fall. It's not a task I like. For one, I like summer clothes. For another, I like warm weather and I'm not one of those people who gets excited about sweatshirts and football and big pots of chili. I realized this week just how much shorter summer is in Michigan than in Buenos Aires, and how much cooler fall is here. I wore shoes yesterday for the first time (other than running shoes) since I got off the plane in June and promptly grew blisters. Lovely. And after just three years in Bs As, something in me says that spring should be just around the corner. But it's not, and that is part of transition. Which brings me to the third reason I'm not so excited to switch my clothes today: my wardrobe has been a puzzle of moving parts since Christmas (when I started moving items home) and I growing tired of trying to predict which items I'll need (or want) in the weeks or months ahead.

At the same time, I look for the positives in the change: more cups of tea, wearing scarves, discovering more clothes that I can donate, less shaving. It's the little things in life, no?

Better than free

I'm fresh off my first day of subbing, well, my first day since January of 2004! I spent my day in an elementary CI classroom- for the non-educators out there, CI stands for cognitively impaired, which is the new term for mentally impaired. The day was 9 kids, 2 aides, me and some vague lesson plans. I was suddenly very grateful for the week I spent filling in the PreK class last year at BAICA- it gave me a few ideas for what we could do and how we could structure our time. The day went as well as I could have hoped, I suppose, for a challenging assignment, and I found myself thinking about fishing on the way home.

We all know the line about teaching a man to fish instead of just giving him a fish, but what I realized today is that many people around the world don't need either one, the lesson or the fish, they just need the opportunity to fish. Many, many wonderful family and friends have helped me out this summer, whether it was a meal or a ride, a tank of gas or a place to stay. And all of that has been absolutely incredible. But it still doesn't compare to the feeling of being able to work, to do something you know, and to contribute something to the world. The few dollars I made subbing today or prepping roses last week (long story) are meaningful to me because afterward I am tired- I have done something called work, and it was good. I look forward to that first paycheck when I can go buy some black work shoes (I wore through my last pair on the cobblestones of Argentina), not simply because I need the shoes, but because I will have worked for them. The work is the gift, and despite the price of blisters, aches, pains or frustration, it's still better than free.

It makes me think about those who live day in and day out in poverty, who struggle to survive in developing countries. We send aid, but how much better would it be if we created opportunities to work? Opportunities which paid enough to lift them out of poverty (even if it raised the price of our t-shirt), opportunities that gave them something meaningful to do, something that they could take pride in. Imagine a world where farming and harvesting paid the bills, a world where lettuce was more expensive but those who picked it could afford to buy it. And yes, some of those people will need to "learn how to fish", but whether they're learning or they already know, it doesn't matter if they don't have the opportunity to do it.

The good is always the enemy of the best

I love love love the book My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers. I've been reading it pretty much nonstop since 2001. I took a year off in there somewhere to read a different devotional, and quickly went back to it. One of my favorite quotes is from the May 25th entry, and though I know it is not even close to May 25, this quote and idea have surfaced again in the last few weeks of my life:

The great enemy of the life of faith in God is not sin, but the good which is not good enough. The good is always the enemy of the best... Many of us do not go on spiritually because we prefer to choose what is right instead of relying on God to choose for us.

Wow. "The good is always the enemy of the best." How many times have I seen that proved true? There are so many things in life that are good, they just aren't God's best for us. One thing that has really struck me this week is that even though I am living in an affluent area of the United States, I do not cease to be surrounded by need. What's tricky here is that it's not financial need or very often physical needs. It's not as obvious as an Argentine orphanage or slum. But there is still a cry from people who have so much, and yet they are empty. Their good is falling so short of best. It's so easy when I am here to start to believe that somehow things that are good- technology and clothes and even experiences like travel- will somehow satisfy me, instead of trusting in God's best and remembering that many of the happiest days of my life were when I actually had the least stuff.

But good isn't just material stuff. Everywhere we turn we are making decisions and choosing paths. And at every juncture there is a God who loves us deeply, more than we could know, and He knows what is best for us, even if it doesn't look that way to us. The truth is, the very best thing in all the world is to know Jesus. And whatever in life brings me closer to Jesus, that is what is best for me. That's the goal, always. Know him more. Because we cannot worship or glorify that which we do not know. The more I know about Christ the more I can praise him, trust him, and adore him. That's why we consider it all a loss for the sake of knowing Jesus Christ, because there isn't anything better.

Kingdom Without Borders

I've been back in the US for 2 months now, and most surface things that once shocked me no longer do (save the gigantic "medium" beverage I had at Hardee's last week). It's amazing how small the world can be, meaning that no matter which country I'm in, I do spend most of my time in a very small geographic region, easily forgetting that the world continues to live and breathe across large expanses. I was in the library about 2 weeks ago, sifting through my favorite section: New Nonfiction. So many gems to be found there, and this trip was no exception. In addition to walking away with The Eastern Stars (the story of sugar and baseball in a small Dominican Republic town), I also picked up Kingdom Without Borders: The Untold Story of Global Christianity. Though still 70 pages from the end, I can't recommend it enough.

Throughout its pages, Miriam Adeney tells countless stories about believers across the world, primarily in Africa, Asia, the Middle East, and Latin America. I found her story telling scattered at first, and it took me a good bit to get into the book, but now I can't put it down. Reading the stories of what God is doing across his Kingdom encourages and inspires me as I hope and seek to return abroad for the 2011-2012 school year. I read about Chinese believers sending missionaries back west on the Silk Road, about native missionaries in India and Brazil, about Iranian Christians reaching out with the gospel despite the government. Adeney never implores her reader to get involved in global missions, never nudges towards giving- she simply tells the stories, and through them, one cannot help but want to get involved in either sending or going. And the truth is, the global church is growing at an astonishing rate. It makes me wonder if the traditional western church is going to be left behind.

I've never been a big reader of missions books or many of the modern fad-like Christian books out there, but this one I love. Simple, unpretentious, and compelling, it gets me excited about educational mission opportunities I might discover when the job search process begins. It gets me excited to learn another language, to observe and learn another culture, to teach kids from so many different backgrounds. And it reassures me that whether or not we personally can see the fruit, God is indeed doing a mighty work for his Kingdom in my generation.

A Wandering Mind

I find my mind wandering often lately; I can't seem to concentrate through an entire conversation, especially if it's not one-on-one. I'm not sure where my brain goes necessarily, sometimes to the people and places of Argentina. I assume this is all part of the transition process- not being able to keep my head in one time and place. I don't know if anyone else notices this wandering (hopefully I'm not that out of it). In some ways I feel lucky to be in this state of great transition. I think that in many ways, we all live in a state of constant transition to some degree or another, and I just happen to be fortunate enough to really notice and consider it. Transition, like so many other hurdles in life, causes us to reach out for what is true and steady and sure, and more than ever I am able to realize what the one constant in my life really is. God's presence is as near and real now as it has ever been and his consistency teaches me to lean on him in deeper ways. I am continually amazed at how he is not only Mighty God, but also Everlasting Father, how God, Todopoderoso, can also be my Wonderful Counselor and Prince of Peace. When life holds more questions than it does answers (and really, when does life ever really hold many answers?) if gives us the privilege of taking the light for the step we're on and trusting that by the time we need to take the next step, the light will shine on it. Until then, when my mind walks away, mid conversation, sometimes I will do what I can to bring it back, and at others, I'll simply let it float, being in whatever place and with whichever people it needs to in that moment.