A latte to be thankful for!

I have so much to be thankful for!  I have been feeling so blessed this week that God has called me to come to Thailand to do what I love to do- teach. It was an exhausting week at work, but it was also one where I saw small breakthroughs with some struggling students, one where I got to talk and pray with students who were having a hard time with things in their personal lives, one where I was able to share with the staff the story of God's hand in my life, in short, one where I could use the gifts that God has given me for his glory.  I also had the opportunity yesterday to take a break from the daily grind to celebrate friendship at an awesome Audrey Hepburn inspired cafe, right here in Bangkok!  My friend and I enjoyed the atmosphere along side smoked salmon salad, crab souffle, homemade scones, black pepper and garlic chicken, all topped off by a Thai tea cake, carrot cake, and lattes!

In addition, my friend who was supposed to leave for India this week won't be going.  Her visa fell through, which is bad news, I know, but it does mean that I'll have her around for a while longer, to love deeply and hold loosely.  

I'm also thankful that today I got to teach my first official Nak Suu English lesson- the first half of which was a hilarious circus as I adjust to the new teaching setting, and the second half of which went well- kids playing Uno and saying the color names as they played their cards.  I managed to pause for translation on occasion (I need to work on doing that more) and only said "muy bien" once (the espanglish must go during these lessons) in the midst of the circus.  I just love hanging out with these kids and being a part of this program.  Normally the program runs on Saturdays, but we have to run it on Sunday for a few weeks due to the kids being in school on Saturdays to make up for missed flood days (yuck!). 

Today I read Psalm 103, and though its text is quite familiar, I was struck today by the amazing truth in verses 11 and 12: "For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."  I guess there are days when I feel more "barely forgiven" than that God has removed my sin as far as the east is from the west.  So today I find myself also thankful that God's love for me is as great as the distance from heaven to earth, that he has removed my sin as far as the east is from the west. 

Muy buena onda!

So fantastically yummy!

Ending the meal with latte and cake!

PS- If someone wanted to come finish my grad class for me, my life just might be complete.  I'm half way through the work and the deadline I've given myself is 2012 Opening Day. It's not that the work is that overwhelming, it's just that the last thing I want to do after writing real lesson plans all week is write a bunch of fake ones for this class!  But, the certificate must be renewed...

Loving Deeply and Holding Loosely

Last semester, I talked a lot with a friend about the concept of Loving Deeply, yet Holding Loosely.  We discussed how on some level, we all know that some day we're going to have to say good-bye to everyone, but living in the expat community makes that reality all the more, well, real.  People come and go fairly regularly and the continuous cycle of good-byes can leave one burned out and broken.  One survival tactic is to simply not get too attached to anyone, so it's not as painful when one or the other of you leaves.  What we talked about instead was loving deeply- not being afraid to connect with people, love them, and let them in your life- yet holding loosely- living in the moment, the here and now, and acknowledging that it won't last forever. 

It's a tough balance to strike- the ability to love genuinely and deeply while simultaneously being aware of the temporary nature of relationship.  We want to love deeply; we don't want to get hurt.  But joy and sorrow are intertwined, we can't have one without some element of the other, and if we cease loving, we cease, in many aspects, living as well. 

Even in this environment of transition, it can be easy to forget about reality, that people will come and go.  But I have been well reminded of it this week.  In early October I met a friend at church and we started hanging out and getting to know each other.  Early on, there was a point in which I had to make a decision whether or not to invest: the longest she would be in Bangkok was next September, and if her visa to India came through, it would be much shorter than that.  So I made a conscious decision to invest in the present moment, knowing that it would not last forever.  I treasured each Sunday morning and afternoon I had to spend with my friend. As the steps toward the visa were checked off, I cheered her on, knowing that this was the ministry (International Justice Mission) that God had called her to.  And I tried not to think too far ahead.

And yesterday the news came: it could be as little as 3 more days until the visa, and as soon as next Friday that she'll depart.  And I was sad- happy for my friend, but sad for myself.  It's not that I will never see her again- she'll stop back in BKK in September en route to the job that awaits her in London in October, and with her parents living in BKK, she'll be here to visit in the future.  And I may even have a chance to go to India while she is there.  Plus, my growing collection of friends in London makes it an increasingly tempting stop.  What's sad is the loss of routine with her, what one of my friends likes to call "living life together".  This loss is part of coming here- I lose that with everyone I leave behind, and with each person who will move on from here. 

And so, after several months of being able to invest and love deeply, the time comes to hold loosely.  I am excited for all God has for her in these months with IJM.  I am thankful for the time we had together and for the blessing her friendship has been to me.  I trust God that the void that will be left in my Sunday afternoons will be filled by his hand. 

The Apartment Hunt Begins!

As I have known all along, I am going to move out of this apartment by the end of the school year.  Not only does the school need it to house next year's new teachers, I will need space to house guests.  I have, what I consider, the best unit in the building and being on campus really hasn't bothered me as much as I suspected, but the studio just isn't practical with wanting to be an open place for visitors.  And so, it starts. 

I checked out my first apartment today at the complex next door to the school. Location is super convenient and lots of teachers live in the (huge) complex. I wouldn't mind being somewhere a bit more, unique, but I think the commute might override that.  The unit I saw today had some great features- awesome built-ins throughout and a great floor- but my favorite part by far was the way the space was divided up.  There's an office/bedroom type space adjacent to the living area, with a movable wall.  90% of the time I can keep it open and have a bigger space with an open feel.  When guests come, wah-la, a bedroom!  The place has lots of windows too and the view (6th floor) is over the pool and park area, much better than parking lot or looking out at ICS- ick!  Who would want to stare at their workplace all evening!  Anyway, drawbacks are small/lack of kitchen counter space (Mom, you would die), no guest bathroom, and maybe more money than I'm hoping for.  But, all are things I could get over.  Will try to see a few more just for comparison's sake, but there's a lot to like about this place! 

to think and breathe and read and just live

It's been nearly a week!!!  eeek!  I've been writing, a lot, just for a different project.  And life has been pleasantly busy and good.  I'm back into the routine of Thai classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I'm enjoying the consistency of a home church and getting to know people there.  I taught my first Nak Suu English lesson last Saturday and had a great time getting my feet wet with that.  I've had good times of conversation and prayer with friends.  Sunday evening I sat in the park with friends and listened to the Bangkok Symphony Orchestra over bread and cheese and chocolate. It was my first time in the big park downtown, Lumpini Park, and it made me miss the parks of Buenos Aires so much, especially my favorite park in Palermo.  Life is a lot calmer than before Christmas break (at least internally), and I appreciate that.  I feel like I am gaining time to think and breathe and read and just live  in Bangkok to an extent that I was not able to before.  It's one of those things that just comes with time, but I still hate waiting for it.  And this is not to imply that the transition is over, only that it has moved into one of its more pleasant stages. 

Though I have a confession to make: I need to go to the bank.  Luckily, I have not lost my ATM card again.  I have a check from the insurance company to deposit, and it appears that I need to go to the bank to do it, or that it's at least recommended.  So I'm going to have to find time in my work week (yet again) and try not to complain about the bank hours in the US ever again (seriously, these folks close at 3:30). 

Tomorrow morning I will complete one of my final rites of passage as a new ICS teacher: I have to give my testimony in front of the entire staff.  Each Wednesday morning before school a different new teacher shares, basically telling the story of God's hand in their lives. Sometimes it's about what led them to Jesus. Other times it's more about how God has worked in them through different circumstances in their lives.  Some people have focused more on how God brought them to ICS or what he is doing in their life in more recent days.  I really enjoy the Wednesday morning times- I love hearing the different stories and being encouraged by the greatness of a God who works in so many different people in so many different ways.  I'm looking forward to sharing- I always enjoy a microphone and captive audience, but also a bit nervous.  More than anything, I pray that God would use the words I speak to encourage my colleagues and bring glory to Him.

I'll try to take more pictures soon- there's a soi dog here that reminds me of Champ every time I walk by him.  Maybe I'll try to snap a photo while he's napping in the shade (I rarely see this dog awake, just one of his Champ-like qualities). 

The Western/Asian Literacy vs. Numeracy Discussion

A few months ago, there was a discussion on our family blog regarding education in America, which led to me putting words to some of my thoughts about teaching math across three continents.  Today, during a math committee meeting, a similar discussion ensued, which has me thinking about it all over again. 

Why does the stereotype exist that Asians are good at math, and is there any truth to it?  If it is true, why?

For starters, I will say that I have seen a trend in my Asian students in Michigan, Argentina, and Thailand- they're overall stronger in math.  For example, in Michigan, our math department was constantly under pressure because of our low math scores (granted, all our scores were low, but our math scores were exceptionally low).  In Argentina, my highest math students were often my Korean kids.  Here, I teach the 'lower track' of 8th grade math and have a disproportionate number of Western kids in my classes.  My 6th graders (who haven't been tracked yet) are far beyond where my 6th graders were in the US, and even further than they were in Argentina where roughly a third were Korean.  As one teacher said today, "If one of my kids is low in math, they're probably blonde." 

The gap exists.  But why?  This is my theory.  Math has a higher value placed on it in Asian culture than in Western culture (or at least, American culture).  Evidence #1 for this is that many of my Asian students work with special math tutors outside of the classroom, not being they are doing poorly, but to get ahead and do well in math. In the US, the only kids with math tutors were kids that already struggled.  And even then many of them didn't have tutors.  The second thing is this.  In the first critical years of life, in the US, we put a huge emphasis on reading. Think about it. What is every parent concerned about in their Kinder or 1st grade conference?  How's my child doing in reading?  From the very first things we start teaching our toddlers, we focus on literacy.  Recognizing letters and their sounds. Being able to read and write.  The ability to communicate.  What is it that "good parents" do?  Read to their kids!  If a 4 year old can read, but barely count past 10, we think little of it.  When we play car games on long trips, we identify letters in the world around us, later on we play word games.  We, in American culture, place a smaller value on numeracy.  I would be curious to know what percent of the minutes of a Kindergarten or First grader's day is related to literacy vs. numeracy.

Now, hear this: the focus on literacy is not a bad thing (remember I am a language arts major and math minor, and that this is the first school where I have not taught both subjects).  I don't blast the time spent on literacy as a waste, I just wonder if maybe the Asian system is a bit more balanced.  What if we taught our two year olds not just how to count, but how to skip count, assign numbers to objects to count the cheerios, put them together and take them away to see how many there are now?  What if we talked about the hands on the clock more or did mental math as a game in the car or played with a ruler at a  hockey game (as I did with my first grade cousin over break) making up games of measuring things around us?  What if we sat down at the conference and yes, asked how their reading was, but was equally concerned about their numerical sense?  What if we kept tallies and made graphs of the number of minutes we spent reading each day?  What if we talked aloud with our kids about how we calculated the amount of tip we're going to leave after dinner or about the sale price of a sweater that is 20% off? 

I don't believe that Asians are genetically more gifted in mathematics. It's possible, yes, but I just don't see it.  I have plenty of Asian kids that struggle (especially in a school with such a high percent of Asians) and I have plenty of Western kids that excel (not to mention my cousins who would knock the socks off any Asian math test).  But I do see trends here; trends that we would be wise not to ignore, not to brush off as cartoons and jokes.  The future is in technology, and so much of technology, like the rest of the world, is mathematically based.  And if all my students could grow up in homes where they are given a strong base in both literacy and numeracy, and attend schools where they are given time and strategies to develop both in literacy and numeracy, then well, other than being out of a job, I'd be pretty happy :)

Why I Love Moto-taxis

I would write I "heart" mototaxis with the cute little heart thing, but I don't know how.  (Does that make me old?  I think that makes me old.)  I can make one of these <3, but it just ain't the same.  Anyway, I was sitting on the back of a mototaxi today thinking about how I was thoroughly enjoying myself and how I ought to blog about it. 

1. First, I love mototaxis because unlike taxi drivers, these dudes actually know where they are going. Since they only go short distances, they tend to know where everything is in their little area or neighborhood.  I've never gotten a blank stare when I told a moto driver where I wanted to go.  They just nod, put their helmet on, and we're off!  
2. Second, I love mototaxis because it's freeing and exciting.  Call me crazy but I like zipping around side saddle on the back of a motorcycle.  Wind in my hair and all that.  Maybe something in every girl wishes she could just jump on some guy's motorcycle, toss her hair back, and be off.  The guy that you picture though, in that scene, is certainly not the dude driving my mototaxi- he's um, let's just say, not that guy.
3. Thirdly, I love mototaxis because they are quick.  Traffic stopped?  No problem!  We can weave in and out and even use the oncoming lane if there isn't anyone in it. 
4. I also really love mototaxis because I sit side saddle on them. My Thai teacher tells me that's "the Thai way".  I do it in a skirt for obvious reasons, but even in pants, it's just more comfortable than sitting behind said mototaxi driver, and quite frankly, way more fun.  
5. Lastly, I love mototaxis because they are cheaper than a taxi and cooler than walking.  I love walking, but not a long walk on a hot day. 

I don't get to take a mototaxi that often since I usually either take the bus or a taxi since I'm going longer distances, but when I do get the change, I sure do love it.  

A home church!

I have, at long last, settled on a home church.  It's called Grace Church Bangkok, and it's part of a network of churches called Every Nation.  One of the things I like about this church, which drew me to this church, is the people.  From the moment my friend and  I started visiting we were warmly welcomed and had genuine conversations with people who would actually remember our names the next time we came back.  The church has a really good heart.  It's a small church, maybe 50 people, and fairly new. It was a church plant by Every Nation Church Bangkok.  The pastors seem good at encouraging people to grow deeper in their faith, through the preaching, worship, small groups, and prayer.  One thing they have done these past two weeks is really encourage us to get involved in a small group.  My friend went to one this past Thursday, but that's the night I have my 2 hour Thai class, so getting downtown and back isn't really going to happen for me on Thursdays.  But today they were also telling me about a Bible study that meets on Tuesdays and another girl that meets with a friend for Bible study on Mondays invited me to that.  So we'll see.  I'm going to take it slow in adding too much to my schedule right now, but so far I like how everyone has made sure we are invited to lunch after church and invited to small groups.  Today the whole church had lunch together at the pastor's house to celebrate a baby dedication and I had a chance to have more conversations with people.  It's not a perfect church, but it's a good fit for me right now. There are a lot of Filipinos and quite a few people from Hawaii, as well as some Thai people, other Asians, and a couple of Westerners.  I like that the sermon is translated into Thai and my friend and I were talking to the worship team today about singing in Thai in the future.  All three girls who sang today were Thai and were saying they'd love to sing in Thai some, but just didn't have time today with the dedication.  The church is located near a large prestigious university and does a lot of campus outreach through conversational English.  That seems to be an awesome outreach tool used by many church both here and in Burma.  Anyway, I'm excited to be going to the same church consistently and to be getting to know more people outside of ICS ( I do love ICS, but I also love getting outside the bubble).  I'm excited to see how God is going to work through this small but very enthusiastic church and how their (our) ministry can impact our community for Christ! 

My World in Pictures: Going downtown

This is the main road, Bangna Trad, where I catch the bus.  To head downtown I cross the road (using that big pedestrian crossing) and the bus stop is right on the other side.  It's about 1 1/2 blocks from my apartment to the main road.

At the bus stop, waiting for a bus to take me to the skytrain (BTS)

On the bus you pay your fare, a flat rate of 8 baht, to the bus employee.  No monedas required!

I get off the bus here: BTS station Udom Suk. 

This is a bad shot of the inside of the BTS.  It's a little embarrassing to take pictures in there!  Anyway, this connects to a mall which is connected to a hotel where my church meets.  We rent a meeting room there each Sunday.

And that is my journey to church!  Which is the same for any trip downtown. I typically make the trip about three times per week for various reasons.

A cultural home

This morning I read something that resonated deeply within me as I resettle into my adopted culture and adjust to being away from my home culture.  Henri Nouwen is so often able to put words to thoughts I hadn't known that I'd thought, and this was no exception.  This is what struck me so much:

"Being back in France makes me think much about countries and cultures.  During the past few months I have been in Holland, Germany, Canada, the United States, and England, and in all these countries  I have had intense contact with people and their ways of living, praying, and playing.  There is great temptation to want to know which culture is best and where I am most happy and at home.  But this way of thinking leads to endless frustrations because the Dutch, Germans, the French, the Americans, and the Canadians are all people who have unique ways of feeling, thinking, and behaving, none of which totally fits my needs, but all of which have gifts for me... I am increasingly aware of how important it is to enjoy what is given and to fully live where one is...

Do we really need to belong to one country or one culture?  In our world, where distances are becoming less each day, it seems important to become less and less dependent on one place, one language, one culture, or one style of life, but to experience oneself as a member of the human family, belonging to God and free to be wherever we are called to be.  I even wonder if the ability to be in so many places so quickly and so often is not an invitation to grow deeper in the spirit and let our identity be more rooted in God and less in the place in which we happen to be."  (emphasis mine)

These words bring me so much comfort as I feel the pulls of the US, Thailand, and Argentina.  I relate to different aspects of each culture and yet none of them fits me completely.  I feel so blessed to be able to live in and experience different cultures, different faces of God really, and to take away what I can from each one. 

The truth about jet lag

When people tell you about jet lag and warn you about jet lag, there is one very important part that they leave out. So I am here to set the record straight. 

Jet lag is as much about eating as it is about sleeping. 

I didn't notice this phenomenon too much when I arrived in July, I think because everything revolving around eating was so strange and new.  But I certainly noticed it going back in December. I was hungry- all the time. So I ate mini-meals every 3 hours those first few days.  Returning here this weekend I haven't been eating quite as much (hopefully my body is just working on using up some of its reserves from the holidays) but I am definitely hungry most all of the time.  Today, standing around the copy machine at work, I talked to two other teachers about this very thing. Both of them had been awake at 2 or 3am this morning starving- so they had gotten up, had breakfast, and gone back to sleep. Of course a second breakfast was then in order when they got up for school. 

When you think about it, the hunger thing makes complete sense. Our bodies are as programmed about when to eat as they are about when to sleep.  It's just that no one every talks about it.  So future travelers beware, and prepare to snack your way through your first few days.  And now, I am going to go back to my guava.

My World in Pictures

It has been brought to my attention that I perhaps do not take enough pictures of daily life, of the places that have become so normal to me that I forget that they're weird. So today when I went out to get something to eat, I brought my camera. I give you the first installment of My World in Pictures. 

One of my favorite eateries under the parking garage.  I order the same thing every time.  She knows this. I know this. But she lets me practice spitting it out in Thai anyway. 

The Under the Parking Garage food stand collection. 

Fast food, Bangkok style. Slice it up fresh for you. I wanted to get a picture of her slicing the guava, but she was a bit camera shy.

Home with my snack/dinner, guava and pineapple. $0.70 total.

And, may I add, this pineapple, that I am currently munching on, is some of the flat out best pineapple I have ever eaten in my life.  Mouth watering. 

Luxury Items

When I flew out here in July, my bags were filled to the brim with necessities (mostly). So this trip was my opportunity to bring some luxury items, though plenty of space and weight still went to necessities and items I picked up for other people.  I would like to state for the record, that each of my bags weighed in at 48.5 lbs.  On the one hand, that is a success.  On the other hand, with 3 more pounds on the table I could've fit another book or two...

A few special items that made the trip with me yesterday:

• My Henri Nouwen books (including the two I added to my collection last week)
• My ice skates
• The t-shirt quilt my mom made for me while I was in Argentina
• My 4" silver stilettos 
• The glass art my dad made me for Christmas- first time his glass has been able to make the overseas trek
• Mis libros en español
• A painting of the NYC skyline 
• My new carry-on bag, whose handle does not detach when you pull on it.  Very nice feature. 
• Yerba mate
• Frutigran biscuits from Argentina

The flights went well, as in they were on time and there wasn't much turbulence.  But man do I hate flying into the jet stream.  The 5 1/2 hour flight from Bangkok to Tokyo took 7 hours going the other way.  Not to mention the 10 1/2 hour flight from Tokyo to Detroit that took 13 1/2 hours in reverse!   I've been greeted by a warm breezy brilliantly sunny Saturday, and as excited as I am to see my friends and catch up with everyone, I am really enjoying this introvert day to rest and putz around my apartment.  Maybe I'll even go make another cup of tea. 

Renewed: Preparing to leave once again

I've got 48 hours left in the US and I plan to spend quite a few of them, how else, shopping.  Lots of great things to stock up on before I go.  Usually I spread out the collecting and spending over the entire visit, but this one has been so busy that it's all been left till the end.  Despite all the great products, what I love most about the US is the people, of course.  Granted, what I love most about Thailand is the people and what I miss most about Argentina is the people.  I think I just like people. 

But people, also, are hard to fit in a suitcase. And people are altogether too fragile, as a family tragedy has taught us all too well this week.  You can take every precaution, but so much of life is just unpreventable, unpredictable, and wholly unexplainable.   And that is, in part, what makes it so nice to come home and reconnect with so many people I love- too often this moment is all we have. 

My days in Michigan have been a deep breath, a step away from a life that I love, but a life also filled with challenges. I return to Bangkok this week with a renewed sense of purpose, in my life and in my work.  I return with renewed passion to live and love how Jesus did, with a layer of healing and forgiveness between me and some of the hurts of last semester, and with a joy to jump back into teaching and into learning Thai. I also return with twice as much luggage as I came with, but that's to be expected :)  These past few days the verse that keeps coming to mind is one from Isaiah, I don't know the chapter and verse off hand, but one that I have realized is just as much of a life verse as any other I have chosen: Yes, Lord, walking in your ways we wait for you, for your name and your renown are the desire of our hearts. 

May my heart always look at Jesus and say Yes, Lord. May I walk in his ways. May I wait for him, for he has a time for everything under heaven. And may the desire of my heart always be his Name and his renown.

Year In Review

2011 was a year of change and transition.  But then again, so was 2010.  I am hoping that 2012 is a bit calmer, at least in terms of major location and employment changes!  I was thinking about it yesterday though, and realized that in the past 10 years I have lived in 7 cities on 4 continents.  10 years ago today I'd been to Mexico once for a week and to Canada many times, but that was it :) 

NYE last year found me in Nashville, ringing in the new year with friends from my time in Argentina.  January found me in the midst of a long term job teaching 7th grade science. In February, my job offer came in from ICS and I decided to move to Thailand.  In March I enjoyed a week with my cousins while their parents were away over our spring break, and a visit from friends in Pennsylvania.  I also started another long term job that would go through the end of April and really challenge my management skills.  April took me to the Philadelphia area to stay with another cousin and see Philly for the first time.  I apparently didn't do much in May :)  In June I spent a lovely week at Long Lake before teaching summer school.  July was a quick month of organizing and packing and good-byes.  I left for Bangkok on the 19th.  August brought the first days of school and a quick learning curve of daily life, learning how to get around my neighborhood.  September was a month of developing friendships and beginning to form routines in my new home.  While October started smoothly enough, news of great floods soon reached Bangkok, and then the floods themselves, sending the city into a panic and causing our school to close.  I was lucky enough to end the month nestled on the beach of a quiet island in the Gulf of Thailand.  With school still closed in early November, I headed to Burma for 5 days, returning to tentatively restart "normal life" once the threat of the floods passed, leaving our neighborhood and district dry.  December has been a whirl of parties and celebrations, first in Bangkok and then in Michigan, and has ended with a flurry of family and friends, and hardly a flurry in sight. 

My goals for 2012 are simple.  Learn more Thai.  Live in the present moment.  Trust the inner voice of Love. 

Happy New Year, dear readers!