"While you're young and single"

I always half-chuckle and half-seethe when people tell me that it's so nice that I can teach overseas while I am young and single.  I laugh because with nearly 9 years of teaching experience under my belt, I am not near as young as I appear or as people assume.  I scoff because their comment quietly infers that at some point I will, of course, return and get married like a good girl.  I shrug my shoulders knowing that most of them will never understand that I am not here because I am young and single. 

And I know, people mean well. But I do question some of the assumptions under their words.  I think people would be surprised to find out what percent of my colleagues are "old", or married, or heaven forbid- both.

I did not come here because I need to stretch my wings, because I am young and rootless. If anything, the opposite is true.  I am not right out of college. I am tired of moving and ready for consistency in my life.  I am very strongly rooted in an amazing family in SE Michigan.  I did not come here because I am single.  Yes, being single in this context does have some advantages (It's easier to pick up and move when only one job is needed, not two), but it also carries very strong disadvantages (If all your friends were to decide not to come back all at the same time, at least your best friend isn't going anywhere without you).

I may have landed in international Christian education by happenstance (or perhaps better put: God-stance) over 5 years ago, but I made a clear decision 2 years ago that international Christian ed was my career choice/calling.  It doesn't always fit my personality.  I like things to be decidedly fixed and certain and I live in a community where the only constant is the constant change.  I like living within my comfort zone and I am continually placed in situations that stretch me beyond what I would like them to.

But God has also been incredibly gracious in that.  I am learning, slowly, to deal better with the inevitable unpredictability of life.  One of my friends put it quite well last week when she said, "Clare, you are the most flexible rigid person I know!".  God has dealt graciously with me by allowing me to discover (over the past 5 years) that I love travel and I love languages and I love cultures and history.  And he has given me a career calling where I am able to enjoy and explore all of those things- even when they pull me out of my comfort zone! 

I don't know what all that means for my future.  I don't know how long God will call me to this work- neither in general nor at ICS specifically.  But I do know that for now, this is where he has placed me, so for now, this is where I will stay.  I'm thinking of buying a white painting canvas actually, and hanging it on my bedroom wall, blank and white, as a reminder to let the canvas of my life be open before God, to take the light he has given me for this step I am on and to trust in that.  Even if I am less-young and more-single than I always care to be.