Mentors: all in the family

I have had a lot of great mentors in my life: youth leaders, coaches, professors, veteran teachers, and mighty women of faith. In the past few years I have come to specifically appreciate a special group of mentors who continue to stick around in my life: my aunts and uncles. I have a lot of them and there are few topics I could ever need advice on that would force me to look outside this group. 

Growing up, my aunts and uncles humored us in our play, watched our dances and musical performances, had us for sleepovers, and were generally a wonderful presence in our lives. But looking back, it's my teens and early 20's where they really stand out because in those years they allowed us to become adults. Not all families do this, allow the younger generation to grow into full fledged members of the family, but ours did. We were talked to (and listened to) as real people. Our opinions and experiences were valued. We weren't sitting at a kids table at holidays, rather we were able to listen in on the dynamic and always interesting conversations at the adults tables. We were given jobs to do- it wasn't all play and no work. No one walks away from a family holiday without contributing in some way, unless you're a guest or the family Matriarch or Patriarch. I loved learning how to properly set a table from my Gramma (and often wish she were here to remind me because I always get the silverware mixed up) and even young kids have to help clean up in some way. I don't think it's any coincidence that all of my adult cousins have grown into interesting, responsible, articulate people, even the boys, who did eventually grow out of their grunting years. Even now, when I'm in the States, my aunts and uncles are inviting me to dinner, meeting me for breakfast and generally expressing a desire to continue to be a part of my life even when I live far away. 

Behind us there is a younger group of cousins, once known as The Cool Kids Club, who are not kids anymore. In the last six years as they have started graduating from high school they too have become adult members of the family. I love it when they join the conversation and we all get to know them as they forge their adult identities. I feel like I've missed out on a lot with this group, spending nearly six of the last seven years overseas, so I am always delighted when I get to spend time with them. 

Next Friday, one of them will come to Bangkok to stay with me for a few months as part of her gap year between high school and college. She's going to volunteer at my school during the weekdays and hopefully run into plenty of fun and adventure the rest of the time. I am excited to get to know this witty creative cousin of mine in deeper ways and to walk with her through a small piece of this time in her life. Will it be work? Yeah. But it will also be completely worth it. 

Side note: personally, I believe there should only be two requirements for graduating from the kids table. One, a desire to sit with the adults and two, a low probability of knocking over somebody's wine glass at dinner.