All that glitters aint gold

A blur of thoughts on Nak Suu, giving, receiving, and coming home covered in glitter.

After two weeks off Nak Suu, we were back today, but in a new location. Our old field closed, and while this field is nicer and closer, it does mean we need to make some adjustments.  For example, instead of sitting at tables while I taught, the kids sat on tarps on the ground.  In some ways I really liked this- they were closer to me and during the other teaching times, I could sit more closely with my group. The littlest kid, Film, kept leaning on me- mostly because he wanted me to give him "points" on his little card that they can earn prizes for, but still, it was cute. I liked sitting right there with them.  Plus, being on the tarps made it easier for the kids to practice some of our new English words today- run, pass, kick, etc. all used for rugby.  But is presented challenges as well- like kids turning around or not listening or laying down and this led to some rather defiant behavior that we don't usually see.  After having some issues with respectful behavior in one of my ICS classes this week I was not feeling overly patient with their sass.

Today was great because I feel like I got to connect with the kids more than I have in the past.  I am getting to know more of them and they are getting to know me and catching on to the fact that I'm not going anywhere. So many volunteers come for a week or two and now they are starting to see that I am sticking around.  I also learned some new Thai words as I talked to the kids, asking them the words for things we were using.  But it was also a challenging day- challenging me to teach in yet a different setting, to discipline kids or help them listen in a different setting where I am very limited linguistically. 

I like being able to spend my Saturdays giving to these kids, though lately, I've been learning a lot more about receiving.  In a lot of ways, I think receiving is harder than giving.  God has been showing me that while I enjoy giving and I like it when there is give and take, I really struggle with just receiving.  When someone does something for me, or helps me with something, I have a hard time if I cannot repay them in some way.  I don't like needing help or asking for help.  And not that I should start just being a "taker", that's not the point.  A large part of the point is that God has this enormous love that he gave us in Jesus, and I need to sit back and receive it, since nothing I do can repay a love that deep.  Just like in friendships, I have a hard time sitting with Jesus and receiving love.  Just that.  Being, and receiving love.

It makes me wonder how people feel who are poor or disadvantaged, who are often "asked" to receive, but from whom we do not want to receive, to show need. I was just reading a news article about the struggles of being poor in the US and I look into so many faces here with so much need and I wonder, what is it like to have to receive and receive without being able to give and return in the same way?  So often, we want to come in and give and we don't give people the chance, the dignity of contributing as well.  I don't have clear thoughts on this, I'm not sure yet how it connects to what I'm learning about receiving, so I do sense it's all connected- in the blessing of all that God has given me, it is so easy to put up an arrogance that says I'm here to give, and I don't need to receive.

They say it's better to give than to receive.  But I don't know about that. I think there are times to give, times to receive, and times to do both.  I do love giving to these kids, even when they disobey or I end craft time covered in glitter, green glitter.  But each of them also needs opportunities to give- to make my day better with their hug or smile, to teach me a Thai word, to contribute to their community in some way.  May we each give to those around us, and may we be willing to receive as well, receive the love of Jesus and the kindness of those in our lives.

Hot Hot Hot

Summer is coming to Bangkok!  I've been warned repeatedly that March and April (especially April) are the hottest months here, unbearably so.  Two weekends ago was coolish and breezy, but other than that it's been getting increasingly hotter lately, and it appears there is more to come.  The Thai schools are about to take their summer break, but here, I actually like working through the summer.  If it's ridiculously hot, I'd rather be in my classroom, with its two big AC units (that the school pays to run) than out in the heat or at home where I pay for AC.  It's too hot to vacation comfortably, even at the beach.  Even now it's getting to the point where a walk of just a few blocks will leave you dripping and my hair flies into a ponytail if I am out of doors for more than a few minutes.  Really makes me wonder why the Thai schools are on break during the lousiest weather of the year! 

Such a contrast to Michigan where we break during the summer because it's the one time of year we actually can enjoy the great outdoors (with all due respect to my Uncle Bill and others who are only happy when there is snow on the ground, Michigan is indeed best in summertime).  I plan to live the air conditioned life for the next two months, taking taxis instead of open air busses and living with higher than usual electric bills while I run the AC more often than not.  But to live in the tropics and enjoy the sunshine without the sweat, it's worth every sa-tang. 

A Method to the Madness

Some people in the world are really "good" at being sick- they don't complain and they just power through as if nothing were wrong.  But let's be honest- I am  not one of those people.  When I am sick, I usually put my entire life on hold and lay on the couch (and often moan while I am at it) until I am better.  Other people, many times the power-through-and-never-complain-people, seem to look down on me for this (perhaps it is the overly dramatic moaning...).  Last week, perhaps against my better judgment, I decided to be one of those other people, and here I am, a week later, still feeling yucky.  Instead of admitting "I can't do this" on my sickest days, I went on the field trips- and I even did my best not to complain the entire time, though I certainly wasn't 100% successful.  Instead of canceling my fun skating outing on Saturday, I went, knowing it would be very tough to reschedule, and on Sunday, despite every fiber of my being wanting a nap, I stayed all afternoon after church for a bridal shower since I don't get to see my church friends very often (since everything happens downtown and in the evening when I am in bed). I loaded up on Tylenol, grabbed a few throat lozenges and powered through.  Even though I slept for 12 hours Friday night and 9 hours Saturday night, it just wasn't enough.  I'm exhausted, and still not quite over whatever this is, making me realize that perhaps my maddening resting might just be the best route after all, even if I often travel it alone.  

Perhaps next time I get sick I will be content to be my lazy self, my sit-on-the-couch-and-sip-tea self, my rest-rest-rest-and-put-life-on-hold self, and not feel bad about it.  And while I contemplate that, I am going to lay down and watch DVD's until bedtime or 8pm, whichever comes sooner.

6th grade SALT trip

We wrapped up our SALT (see previous post for explanation of SALT) trip the past two days at Safari World and an elderly home.  I was pretty grateful on Thursday that the Safari World trip didn't require too much out of the chaperones as my sinus cold was getting worse throughout the week.  Our bus rode through areas with all kinds of wild animals, which were pretty cool to see, especially since I could see them from my air-conditioned seat on the bus.  We went to a couple of shows at the park where orangutans and sea lions did tricks and then after lunch I gave my group a map and a list of the items in their photo scavenger hunt and told them when to be back.  Meanwhile I sat in the shade and ate ice cream and chatted with one of my colleagues, and enjoyed getting to know her better.  That's the nice thing about having good kids in a pretty harmless place- they get to experience freedom and I get to experience adult conversation. 

Adult conversation was one of the main highlights for me of the three days.  Teaching can be so isolating, and usually I have just 35 minutes a day at lunch where I get to converse with anyone over age 14.  So being able to work more closely with a team and get to know some teachers that I never see in my daily routine was really fun.  It is definitely more fun to have other adults around when the kids do and say ridiculous things.  Plus, then you get to alternate telling them to sit down on the bus or to stay with their group or pick up their trash or stop kicking the seat in front of them.  Much like single parenting vs. having two parents, the tag teaming and moral support mean a lot. 

On Friday we went to a retirement/assisted living home where the students put on a talent show and then spent time interviewing the residents. I managed to have one short conversation with a woman (in Thai), though she was much more interested in telling me that she liked my hair than in actually talking with me.  Another woman chatted away at me and didn't seem the least bit bothered by the fact that I didn't understand a word she said.  I have a hard enough time understanding Thai when the speaker has teeth...  The students did a great job being open and friendly and talking with the residents seemed to enjoy themselves as well. 

Culturally, the idea of such a home is a bit odd in an Asian country.  It is much more typical here for an elderly person to live with their children, and homes like this are few and far between.  But as we talked to residents I began to get a clearer picture of why many of them lived there: they didn't have kids.  I don't know if they never married or didn't have children or if their children had died before them, but it did make more sense to me once I knew that.  That must be difficult for them, and all the more reason for our students to come and visit and spend time with them.  At one point I saw one woman with the rapt attention of three of our boys, very expressively explaining something or telling them some story.  I loved it. Those three don't ever pay that good of attention to me! 

The students stayed at school until 7pm Friday night (yep, teachers too) for fun and games and wrap-up to the week.  Luckily, by Friday evening my cold was beginning to improve a bit, though I'm still not at 100%.  I survived SALT year one and didn't have to teach for 3 days and have a couple of four day weeks coming up. 

The only picture I took at Safari World: Definitely something to be proud of!

The lady in the purple pants really liked clapping along to the songs, though the guy in front of her kept nodding off :)

The VonTrapp Family rides through Thailand

One thing I have noticed about international Christian schools is that they like to have these insane "field trips weeks" that are all about learning and growing and serving and stuff like that.  They call them different things, but it's all the same.  At BAICA, it was called Mini-mester, then NICS took over and it became Week Without Walls (WWW) and then I came to ICS where we have SALT trips: serving and learning together.  Here, each grade level does a different trip for three days, and I am thanking my lucky stars that I am a 6th grade homeroom teacher, since we are the only ones that do day trips instead of staying overnight.  Today was Day 1.

Today our team of 7 teachers took our 70ish students to Ancient Siam, a Thai history park just outside of Bangkok.  It has all these replicas of sites important to Thai history and culture, and the park itself is shaped like Thailand. I think the replicas are even placed geographically throughout the park, though I am not really sure about that.  In the past, they have ridden trams around the park with a tour guide. This year, however, we rode bikes.  In the heat and sun.  Except some kids didn't know how to ride a bike, so we needed two teachers to drive golf carts with those kids.  Being the generous person that I am, I agreed to take one for the team and drive a golf cart, which was, of course, the highlight of my day. I have never driven a golf cart before, especially not when I'm trying to stay to the left, and definitely not one with swarms of students on bicycles all around me.  Amazingly, I didn't hit anyone or anything, even the few times I had to throw that baby into reverse.

Even in the cart, I was soaked through by the time we got to lunch, but the kids seemed to have fun (we did a photo scavenger hunt throughout the park) even if they didn't read any of the information or learn much of anything.  They were pretty cute tooling around on their bikes, reminded me just a bit of the scene from The Sound of Music when they ride bikes.  The park map was pretty insane so we spent a great deal of time just being lost, but I think that was the norm for most groups, so I don't feel too bad.  It could be a cool place to come back to with visitors if people are interested in the history and don't have time to go to one of the ancient capitols of Thailand, there were quite a few things I would have liked to see if I weren't keeping tabs on eleven 11 year olds!

Observations From a Rugby Tournament

No English teaching this weekend because of the Bangkok International 10's Rugby Tournament: the highlight and biggest event and fundraiser of the year for Nak Suu.  I decided to drop in for a bit this morning to cheer on the kids.  To a certain extent, sports tournaments are all the same. There's an energy and buzz about them, and for those who don't know how the sport works, a definite amount of confusion as well.  I, being used to skating competitions, was wondering what the schedule was so I wouldn't miss the kids games.  At this giant round robin tournament however, there are cycles of 15 minute games playing all over all the time, so you just kind of have to go and see what you see.  Since Nak Suu had three youth teams going (U-11, U-12, and U-16) I was able to see lots of games and each team play at least once.  Don't know that we scored in any games, but we almost did in one U-12 game I was watching :)  It made me miss skating competitions to an extent: the glory of participating, the merchandise tents, food vendors, and the like.  Our kids played hard against much larger opponents.  Thais are small to start with, and our kids are often even smaller due to the rough circumstances and poor nutrition in their lives. As the program continues and they learn more about the game they'll get better.  At this point they looked a lot like a lot of youth teams in soccer or basketball who haven't yet figured out that passing is the real key to the game.  I was impressed with how hard they played, even when they were outplayed or the other team didn't play real clean.  And rugby is definitely a fun sport to watch, even if I don't understand it at all.  It's fast paced and exciting and you can get the general gist of it fairly easily. 

U-16 scrum

U-12's in action.  Love how the coaches are right on the field in the youth games, yelling and coaching all the way.

The U-11's watch the older kids play

Biggest fundraiser of the year for our program. 

I love the Thai numerals on their jerseys.

U-11's lined up and ready for the equivalent of the kickoff.

Yes, those are grown men rugby players in those outfits...

My friend and I decided only a non-native English speaker would put PMS Club on the back of a red rugby shirt.

Nak Suu fielded a men's team in the tournament as well. These guys actually won the game I saw :)

Good answer, but wrong question.

Language learning has its ups and downs.  I remember when I was first learning Spanish there would be days where I felt like I really got it, and days when I couldn't put two coherent words together to save my life. There were times when I felt like I was learning a lot, and times when I felt like I was working just as hard, but not learning anything.  The whole process felt rather magical at times. I went to this woman's home once a week, we spoke Spanish for two hours, I only studied occasionally in between, and magically over time I was able to speak Spanish.  I can also remember multiple occasions where someone asked me something in Spanish and I responded, but then later when I thought about it, I realized I had answered a completely different question than they had asked.  Oops. 

Learning Thai is so far proving to be much the same.  I have a one hour class with my tutor on Tuesdays and two hours on Thursdays.  On Tuesday, I could hardly think or talk and was utterly incapable of producing Thai.  Today, things went much better.  I could mostly follow along and could respond and joke and laugh and tease.  There are weeks I feel like I'm gaining a lot of new vocabulary, or weeks when I can tell I'm suddenly able to use vocab I know, and then there are weeks where I feel like I am stalled, not getting anywhere.  There are times when the only words that pop into my head are bueno, entonces, y, así, and other filler Spanish words. 

And, there are even times when I answer the completely wrong question.  Right after school today I went to look at another apartment with one of the Thai teachers from school (this is not the apartment for me... still looking).  We had discussed that I needed to be back in time for my Thai class so as we walked to the apartment complex next door she spoke some Thai with me (very slowly and clearly:).  I understood most of what she said, but at one point she was asking me something about how long and I couldn't get the rest of it, so I figured it was how long my class is, since that's what we had talked about.  So I answered that (and was feeling good about it) when really she had been asking how long I had been studying Thai.  Oops. 

I was pretty proud though that I even spoke any Thai to her. Usually I get way too embarrassed to speak with the Thais at school which is such a shame because most of them would probably really think it's great and they are a great practice resource, just sitting there for me every day.  I keep telling myself I'll be ready to just talk any day now but then in the end I get too shy.  Oh well, little by little.