Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Fast and faster: Learning intentionality

The discipline of fasting is not one that I grew up with, or have ever practiced regularly.  I did a 30 hour fast in high school once, as a fundraiser with my youth group (we raised funds for an organization that fights world hunger), but that's about it.  Last year, my (then) church did a week fast in early January as a way of starting the year in fasting and prayer. We were encouraged to fast in some way during that week.  I chose to do a complete fast for one day and spent my usual meal times in prayer for the year, for the church, for Thailand, etc. 

My current church is just wrapping up a three week fast with a similar purpose- to fast and pray for our church and its ministries, for our family/friends/neighbors, and for Thailand as a whole.  This year I chose to do a Daniel fast, which I started right after my family left (the church started a week before me).  The Daniel Fast is based on the book of Daniel, where Daniel and his friends rejected the rich foods of their Babylonian captors in favor of "vegetables and water".  There's plenty of information out there about what foods are or are not allowed, but the gist of it is no meat, dairy, sweets, baked goods, additives, fried food, or beverages besides water.  I have tweaked those a bit and included Jif peanut butter (as opposed to the "approved" natural peanut butter, I mean, have you seen that stuff separate???) and not been too obsessive about things like chicken broth which may or may not have been used to make the pumpkin soup I ordered the other day. 

Some of the things I have learned from this time of fasting have surprised me.  First, I was quite surprised, and nearly a little horrified, to enjoy it so much.  I really like cooking and eating healthy foods.  The strict diet forced me to be creative in what I ate and to pack a lunch eat day, which is maybe not so fun the night before but is AWESOME everyday when I compare my food to the school cafeteria.  There have been challenging moments for sure- the first days back to school without my morning tea (okay, EVERY day without my morning tea), the Christmas chocolate still in my fridge, the oatmeal every morning, controlling my ginormous sweet tooth, etc.  But mostly, the yoke has been easy and the burden light. 

The second thing that has been huge for me is a lesson in intentionality.  When I've done complete fasts in the past, the main goal was always to just block out food from my mind. Not think about it.  Here, the opposite is true. I have to think about food all the time. I have to shop and prepare food constantly.  Every time I will be away from the house at meal or snack time I need to plan ahead and bring something.  I have to think about getting protein and carbs.  When I grocery shop I read every food label, making sure I'm getting the basic, real, good food- no additives, especially sugar.  and I've learned about the parallel needed in my own life, the intentionality I have been lacking. 

I may be a "planner" in many ways, but I'm not a dreamer or a visionary.  I don't have any idea what my future is going to look like.  And many times, both on the larger scale of life and the smaller scale of day to day living, I let life happen to me instead of being intentional about where I'm going.  I'm quick to say yes, and then soon find myself overbooked and overwhelmed or somewhere I had no intention of being.  Last semester this was especially true.  I took on too many tutoring students, too many commitments, and as the ball got rolling, I quickly found myself much busier than is good for me.  So this semester, when one of my tutoring kids dropped out, I intentionally decided not to fill his spot, even though plenty of kids are begging for it.  I'm laying the pieces of my semester schedule slowly and intentionally, letting these first weeks of school settle first.  I'm planning now for some days with my closest friends in Michigan this summer.  And it feels good. 

The fast has also just given me the chance to spend time drawing near to God, sitting at his feet, both on my own and with friends who are doing the fast with me.  Together we are seeking God's face for our own lives, those of our friends and family, that of our church, and our host nation.  We don't necessarily fast and pray because God promises some great miracle, we fast and pray because we know that when we do, he hears us and acts on behalf of his people.  That, in and of itself, is reward enough. 

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