In Defense of "Deciding " to Marry Later in Life

Sigh.  There are several Christian marriage articles zooming around the internet these days and clogging up my facebook. These articles, written by well meaning people, highlight all the great benefits that they have gained from marrying young and all their confusion at their peers who choose to establish their lives and start a career and buy a house before getting married.  They go on about the benefits of growing together in marriage instead of becoming who you are before you marry.

Well, I for one am sick of it. I am sick of the assumption they are making that I sought career over marriage or decided to find financial security before a husband.

Never in the first 25 years of my life did I imagine that I would be where I am today.  I just assumed I would marry in my early (maybe mid) 20's.  But it didn't happen.  Nor has it happened in the 7 years since.  It's nice that they met someone early on, but just because I didn't, don't assume it was by choice.  Don't assume that my marriage will eventually be weaker because we likely won't have to work insane hours while finishing school or live in a tiny apartment with a screaming baby.  Don't assume that just because I know a lot more of who I am than a 21 year old that it will somehow impede my ability to choose a good spouse.  If anything, it will help me.  I am not saying that people who marry young marry "just anybody".  I think they are just lucky.  But I am not going to marry "just anyone" simply to get married young, or at all.

It's easy to say that my singleness is my own fault because I live overseas.  I get that.  But get this: I'm here because God called me to be here.  And if there is someone that God has for me to marry, he's not going to let a little geography get in the way. He's God.  Being in Thailand might statistically lower my chances of meeting someone, but since when has God ever played by statistics? 

So you, article writers, I am happy for you. I'm glad you grew through the years together, glad that you will probably still be young when you become a grandparent, glad that you will get to a 50th anniversary.  But I am also glad for what God has taught me through the days and weeks and months and years of being a grown up on my own.  I will never get to be a young bride or a young mom- a bride and a mom, yes I hope, but not a young one. That's a fact I've had to come to accept, albeit slowly and a reality that I've learned to handle, albeit gently.

So yeah, I'm sure you didn't intend to insult and offend me with your article, but just please remember that life is one part choice for every three parts circumstances.