Thoughts on Mothers

In the past month or so I've had the opportunity to be a 'substitute mom' for a few days to some of my cousins when their parents were out of town and I stayed with them. I've also been able to see my own mom in action when I, at 30 years old, needed her. Needless to say, the experiences have given me a whole new appreciation for moms and what Motherhood is all about and I figured this weekend of Mother's Day was a good time to comment on it. Here are a few of my observations:

• Being responsible for someone else changes your perspective on everything. Your thinking and planning no longer centers on yourself. It's a subtle but significant shift. It's not about you any more.
  
• Vegetables matter. I'll be honest, when I make dinner for myself I don't make a lot of veggies. I do love veggies, but let's be honest, they're a bit of a pain to prepare. But when thinking about dinner and preparing dinner for my cousins it suddenly became not so much of a pain in the butt because, well, veggies and being healthy matter. I think we had some sort of vegetable at just about every dinner growing up. Must have been real annoying, but she did it because it was good for us.
  
• Moms have to get out of bed and off the couch. This may sound simple, but for part of the time I was with some of my cousins I had a nasty cold. Left to my own devices I would have spent several of those days in bed or on the couch, certainly not up and about and showered. But when other people are relying on you, getting up is not really an option.
• Routines matter and details matter. I've noticed this with young kids when I substitute teach ("Mrs. So-and-so always stands on the other side of the calendar") but it matters just as much at home. One day I forgot the napkins (2- one for a placemat and one to use) in my cousin's lunch, and was asked very politely by a 6 year old if I could make sure to remember them tomorrow:) Moms establish those routines and follow through with them day in and day out.
  
• Mothering never ends. When you are 30 years old and you can't sleep in the middle of the night because you can't lay down because of your sinuses and you're miserable and you don't know what to do about it- you call Mom. And she shows up the next day with sinus rinse and drugs and TLC. Because that's what mom's do. And when you're still sick and you have friends come visit she helps you be the hostess because it's taking all your energy just to get off the couch.

My mom has been doing all this and much much more for 32 years. She watched soccer games and baseball games when I'm sure she'd rather have not. She spent weekends at skating competitions, was woken up in the middle of the night too many times to count, and even now that her children are older, she is still often their first phone call. She's still Dr. Mom. She's the dog-sitter and dinner cooker and holiday tradition upholder. In particular, this past year of my life would not have been possible without her. I live in her house and eat her food and drive her car and leave bits of food in the sink (somehow I can never rinse it out quite well enough) and yet she never complains (ok, maybe just about the sink) and I think, maybe, is even glad that I am here. And that is quite a Mom.

Happy Mother's Day!