Torn

Today is a day when I feel inexplicably torn between worlds. It is my friend's birthday, and as she celebrates in Buenos Aires, I wish I could be there. I was able to skype with her for a few minutes and sent a small package of goodies, but it's not the same. I miss her. I miss being there. And at the same time, I am getting so excited for Thailand. All the new teachers at ICS have to send in a short bio and photo, which they put up on the intranet. And as those come in and I'm able to start to learn a little bit about my fellow new teachers, it reminds me of all of the wonderful friends I made in Argentina and how God is preparing friendships for me in Thailand, even now. I am excited to meet them, and the teachers that are already there- excited to just be in Thailand and start serving. And yet, I still have a little over 2 months to wait. And at the same time, I am enjoying spring in Michigan. I'm watching Tigers games with my family, running outside, having dinner with friends- last weekend I was actually able to attend a friend's wedding, a rare thing for me these past few years. And while all these times don't entice me to stay, they do remind me of what I am giving up when I go.

And yet even in the midst of all of this, I read Psalm 23 and I know I have a Good Shepherd. I am being led to green pastures; I am being watched after and cared for. I am deeply loved. The emotions of transition are a bit crazy, but they never interfere with the call God has on my heart. I had the best conversation last weekend with someone at the wedding- she was a youth group volunteer back when I was in high school- and it just fired me up even more for the work ahead in Thailand. She is heavily involved in short term medical missions and her passion and love for God and for people shines through her all the time. It's infectious. Talking with her was such an encouragement to me at a juncture when it would be easy to be discouraged, easy to let the transition emotions dampen my excitement for what God has in front of me.

So even when I wish I could split myself into three and be everywhere I want to be all at once, I trust that I can confidently follow the One who leads me down paths of righteousness, not for my benefit, but for the sake of his Name.