Awakening: Five Days in Burma Part 4

Today's soundtrack- my current personal life soundtrack :) 

I've been wrestling with this fourth and final Burma post.  It is one thing to explain the events and experiences of the trip- quite another to explain my heart.  The truth is, you don't have to travel to Myanmar to find people in need. They are in Detroit, in Buenos Aires, and daily I see them here in Bangkok, especially now with the floods.  Truth is, the needs are great, overwhelmingly so.  And truth is, we cannot help everyone. 

But the stirrings of my heart in Burma go well beyond the poverty and hardship we witnessed there.  God is much bigger than that.  While there, we cried out to God on behalf of someone else, and that is something that stirs the heart mightily.  We read about and listened to the Voice of Love, a voice that calls us ever deeper into relationship with the Savior,  a Savior who comes with peace, yes, but also a sword. 

Perfect in love
Lord, You came to earth
To rescue me
You took my place upon that cross
The stains that held me back
Were washed away
You made me whole

A voice that reminds us that we are not in control, that freedom is not complete clarity and it is not relief from pain.  We met those who know these things all too well- they cannot pretend to have control over their lives, the way we so often do, they know that pain is not an "if"- it just is.  We heard the Voice of Love that beckons us to rest in Him, to rest in the ambiguity, to rest in our neediness and his love. 

Your love has set
The broken captives free
Your love released
The chains once binding me
I'm found in grace
In love's embrace
My heart is overwhelmed

So, where do I go from here?  I acknowledge how little control I have.  I don't control the flood waters. I don't control whether or not school is open tomorrow.  I don't control whether or not we will have a summer vacation after all this craziness.  I don't control the people around me- their actions or inaction or imperfect love.  I don't control where I'll be in a few years, where this journey of life will lead me.  I don't control my health.  I don't control the cycles of life, the living and dying.  I don't control much of anything, really.  And, neither can I control the circumstances of other people's lives.  I cannot change the situations my friends and family suffer through.  I cannot change the immense social and economic and political problems in the worlds around me.  I cannot help everyone. 

Sings my soul of how
Your love has set me free
Sings my heart of how
Your mercy rescued me
Hear my cry of endless love
To my Saviour and to my King
My heart is overwhelmed

But, I can help someone.  That I can do.  My time in Burma was in many ways an Awakening.  Just as we prayed for spiritual awakening in that nation, we pray also for awakening in us.  Awakening to need- need within our own hearts as well as in the world around us.  Awakening to what we can do, and it is much.  In two weeks I will have the opportunity to send items to the children I met last week. Next semester I will have the opportunity to spend most of my Saturdays teaching English to underprivileged kids from the slums of Bangkok (more on this at a later date).  I can be an open listener to my friends and family, helping them carry their burdens and allowing them in to help me carry mine.  I can pour into my students on the days I do see them (like today!) even if I don't know how many of those days I'll have in the coming weeks.  And, I am sure that I will have many more opportunities in the days and weeks and months ahead- if I have the courage and obedience to take them. 

I stand redeemed
Your Spirit now alive within my heart
I walk with you all of my days
I shall live to glorify You God
Hear my soul rejoice