Preface: For those of you who have either experienced cross cultural transition or have dealt a lot with those who have, this post comes as no surprise. I am sure that many of you, dear readers, have seen this coming, just as I have. Problem is, like a speeding train barreling down on, seeing it coming does not necessarily make it hurt less when it runs you over.
Dear Thailand,
The honeymoon is over. Don't get me wrong, dear adopted country, I still love you and want to be with you; I have no plans to leave you. But I would like to make a few things clear to you.
Thailand, I don't necessarily understand your systems, and just because I hang back and observe for a moment before jumping in, it doesn't make me stupid. I am not an idiot just because I don't know which room or window to go to at the post office or the bank. No one every told me to write down that number or save that special paper, so I'm sorry that I didn't. I might not know what to call the piece of paper that I need from you because in my country, that piece of paper does not exist. And, although it's very convenient that all your doctors have their offices right there at the hospitals, please also know that that is very intimidating and I haven't a clue of where to go or what procedure to follow in order to see the doctor that I need to.
And my dear Thailand, know that I do love your language- its sounds and tones and the way you say all the fun words twice. But you should also know that I have only been here for 4 months, so even though you don't fully understand me when I speak your language, I think it's actually pretty impressive that I know as much as I do. So speak softly, and try to listen closely to me when I speak to you. And be patient with me when I'm not ready to speak, because I mix up so many words or don't know the right words, so I'm not sure I'm really ready to communicate with your language yet if I don't have to.
Thailand, I like that you are new, that you are an adventure, but sometimes I wish you were a little less exhausting. That you gave me a little more personal space on public transportation, that you took the heads and the legs off the shrimp in my fried rice. Sometimes I wish you didn't have U-turns or so many stairs to climb to cross the road. That I didn't have to take my shoes off quite so much when my sandals have a buckle. Sometimes I wish that you didn't have so much pollution that my boogers turn grey or that you could lower the humidity so that I could straighten my hair for just one day.
I love you Thailand, I really do. And I'm so glad that I am here. I love your fried rice and noodles, your chaa yen (even if it keeps me up at night) and easy going attitude. I love the high value that you place on family and the smile that is so often on your face. I love the plethora of green plants all around me, and that the air is soft and gentle on my skin year round. But I have to tell you, that even in all that love, the honeymoon has most definitely come to an end.
Here's to working out a way to still spend our days together,
All my love,
Clare
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