And so begins the classic Dr. Seuss book.
Before coming to Thailand I read a number of books or articles with "do's and don't" for Thai culture. It wouldn't surprise me if at least half of them had to do with feet. Feet are a tricky thing here- for Westerners at least. I read a lot of things about being careful about crossing your legs (don't let your foot point at someone), or about not pointing with your feet (you'd be amazed how often we do that!) or not putting your feet on things (that probably goes for most countries...). I figured I would remember what I could and just watch when I got here and see how it all played out.
Some of the things I read seem abundantly true but others I can't quite interpret yet. For example, if the whole foot thing is such a big deal, why do my students routinely remove their shoes in class and sit on their feet? This is something I would never allow in an American classroom- you just don't take your shoes off in public- but here it seems kind of natural and comfortable and no one seems to mind, so I let it go. I've got a Thai student who leans forward on his desk, knees on the chair with his feet sticking out in the air behind him- the soles of his feet very much showing and pointing at whomever walks by. And sometimes I see Thais sit cross legged on a chair or something like that which would seem taboo to me based on what I read.
All of this perplexes me because I like sitting on my feet. I like sitting cross legged or with my knees drawn up and my feet on the chair or couch in front of me. So if that kind of thing is okay, I'm going to do it. If it's not, I really don't want to offend anyone. And granted, though they may be scandalized if they knew, no one is in my apartment to care that my coffee table often serves as both a foot rest and a dining table.
It's taking me a while to get all the foot rules down. My first week here I pointed at something (that was on the floor) with my foot. Luckily, no one really saw but my friend, who though a new teacher had lived in Thailand before, and she ever so discreetly and kindly reminded me I shouldn't do that. I've "messed up" other times with my feet. Sometimes it's quick and no one says anything but I notice half way through and think oh crap! I pointed with my foot again! Other times it has been pointed out a bit publicly to me, not meanly, but publicly, and I get really embarrassed. I know it is yet another thing that will take time, take mental training to remember all the time, but it is definitely confounded by the fact that I'm still a little fuzzy on all the details.
I feel like there's a lot to learn about shoes too, since they go with the feet. I went shoe shopping on Monday and was getting ready to try on the first pair, and suddenly thought, oh no! what if there are special unwritten rules about trying on shoes, seeing as I'm going to put my feet in them! I was definitely glad I had the vocabulary to at least ask if I could try them on before doing so! Then today I saw a Thai holding a pair of shoes for a bit. They put them back in the bag and said, "Now I need to go wash my hands." Makes sense, with the foot bit, but it never would have occurred to me!
Luckily, I have a few good friends who are my 'culture and etiquette guides'. I asked one of them at lunch last weekend a whole bunch of questions about feet, and another one about different wedding protocol today. You need those people in a foreign country. In Argentina Vale was my 'go-to' person. Whenever I needed a cultural interpretation, or wasn't sure how to dress or what to expect at an event, I could ask her and she wouldn't be offended by my weird questions and not knowing.
Sooner or later, I'll at least master these basic aspects of the culture here, the surface level ones that people can see. Now for those hidden cultural things, I'm going to need a few more decades :)
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