My teaching position at ICS is very different from any other position I've held, and not because the school is in Thailand. It's different in part because it is far and away the greatest number of individual students I've ever had (I see roughly 120 kids a week and that number will go up next year). It's also the first time I've taught Spanish (my job is still 83% math though). The first time I've taught 5 sections of math. The first time I have not taught language arts. Don't get me wrong about that last one. I am glad that I'm not teaching LA. I mean, I love words- I love reading them and writing them and discussing them. But I was getting burned out on teaching them, especially in a school with a high percent of ESL students who run around yelling, "I win you!" when they beat someone at a game. When I was job hunting last year, I specifically looked for a math position over a language arts position. In terms of sheer talent, I am a far better math teacher than LA teacher despite the fact that I probably have a greater aptitude for words than for numbers.
But as this school year ends, as my gradebook closes today and real classes end, I find myself really missing some things about teaching language arts, and about having fewer students. I have been slowing realizing over the past few weeks just how much less I connect with the students when I only see them for math and not for LA. Combine that with a block schedule where I only see my classes 3 days per week instead of 5 and the result is that I am saying good-bye to my "least known" group of students ever. In language arts classes we read and discuss and students write personal meaningful responses (you'd be amazed what a kid will write to you on paper even when they never speak in class). In math class we analyze and explain and students write technical evidence to prove a theorem. It's just not the same. People bond over shared readings of good books. They don't usually bond over solving for x.
Now, I have connected with some of my students and I know many of them are grateful for my ability to explain math well, but I don't think they necessarily look at me and think that they are missing out. But when I look at them, I know that I am missing out. I know what it's like to really know your students, to connect in deeper and more meaningful ways. Connecting with students is a large part of teaching after all. Sure, I love the daily classes and captive audiences, I love hearing that someone thinks I'm a great teacher because my explanations or classroom management are good. But the relational part, that's what actually keeps me going.
So, as much as I am glad that the school year is ending, as much as I am looking forward to time in the States and in Argentina, as much as I am tired of waking up at 5am every day, I am also a bit sad that the year is over. And now I have 2 months to figure out how to do it differently next year- how to find that area and solve those equations and still have space for life and living and knowing and writing.
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