Spontaneity

I've had two conversations now this week about my spontaneity, or lack thereof. Why is it that I'm hesitant to jump into something or do something, even when I have nothing else that I need to be doing at that time?  I mean, I know I'm a planner, but I pause at spontaneity even when I have nothing planned! 

What I've realized from these conversations is that it's not having something planned all the time that keeps me from doing things- is that even when I have nothing planned, my mind has an expectation in the back of it.  Take today as an example. I had nothing planned after school.  I had an errand to do- buy cleaning supplies and toilet paper- but that was it.  So as school was ending and my friends asked me if I wanted to do something, I paused.  My expectation was that I'd go home and rest for a bit, then make the trek out to get what I needed, then return home for dinner and relaxation. I had time to hang out with them. I like hanging out with them.  I just wasn't expecting to hang out with them. 

Good thing my friend knows me- when she asked what I was doing today she added, "And don't tell me you're going home to sit on the couch."  Ummmmm.  Next to hanging out with friends, buying toilet cleaner or staying home doesn't really hold much of a candle.  So I went.  Unexpectedly.  And we had a great time, exploring a neighborhood I'd never been too, eating ice cream and having dinner, and even stopping at the store before we returned home so that I could still get the things I needed. 

A wonderfully unplanned, unexpected evening with a great couple.  I need to learn how to let go of my expectations more often and allow myself more freedom to move throughout life.  Something tells me that simply recognizing it will go a long way.