Darkest Nights: when grief pokes in

“The darker the night, the brighter the stars,
The deeper the grief, the closer is God!”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

Today was a difficult day at ICS. On Monday night, one of our 7th grade girls passed away.  It was sudden and tragic- in a matter of hours she went from having a toothache to feeling tired and weak to her heart stopping (likely due to a blood infection).  She missed all of last year due to illness, but had come back this year healthy and so excited to be back in school. Her older brother, now in 9th grade, was in my Pre-Algebra class last year.  Today we had to inform the students, including her friends, of her death.  And then after school, a group of faculty and staff went to the temple to visit with the family.

Typically, there doesn't seem to be much of a "wake", and the funeral ceremony involves chanting by the monks while the family makes merit (offers them small gifts, I think).  Originally we were going to go to that, but the family wanted to have a special visitation-type time beforehand for the school staff since we are not Buddhist. While obviously difficult, it was also really good to be there with the family, to talk and grieve with them, to pray with and for them.  I was amazed by how much the school meant to them and how grateful they were for our presence and support.  It was interesting to see some of the traditions and customs, every culture deals with death differently, but not exactly the way I wanted to learn about it.

Her passing has definitely made everyone think about the fragility of life, and while facing those deep questions and fears can be hard, it can also be really good.  It reminds us of why we are here, why we do what we do at ICS and in Thailand, and also reminds us to be intentional in how we treat one another and in how we live our lives. 

Please keep this family and the student's friends in your thoughts and prayers.  Death is never easy, less so something so sudden, and less so with someone so young.  There is nothing that can be said to explain it or make it okay.  It is one of those things that just is. But we pray God's peace and comfort over them at this time. We pray that somehow, in  his infinite wisdom he is able to bring good out of tragedy, light from darkness. 

One thing that really surprised me was that many people took pictures- of the flowers, the casket, her photo, and that this was normal, expected almost.  It was strange at first, but then seemed kind of nice- something for people to keep to remember.  This picture was taken by one of my friends.