Maundy: A new commandment

Maybe this sounds a bit weird, but my favorite church service of the year at my home church, Knox, is Maundy Thursday. I love their service of shadows. I like the way it's dark and hushed and solemn as we prepare for Gethsemane. I like how Communion is done in family, in community. I like its sense of reverence and reflection. I miss it.  At one point this winter I was actually considering flying home for spring break this year,  and having it coincide with Holy Week and a Maundy Thursday trip to Knox had crossed my mind. 

There is a church here that I like to visit for Maundy Thursday, a small Anglican church downtown that flat out wins the prize for best church building in the city. It's old, small, traditional, beautiful. The liturgy is not what I am used to, but I don't mind, and in some ways, I enjoy that every word is crafted, considered, and heavy with meaning. It fits the day somehow. Last night, I particularly enjoyed what the Vicar (I do believe that is the first time in you life I have ever used that word in context, not such an American one!) had to say- intellectual, biblical, Christ centered, and thought provoking. 

Maundy, apparently, means command or mandate, as in Jesus' words to the disciples, a new command I give to you, that you love one another. He spoke about washing feet, about service and love, about abiding, about being willing to just receive it all- how we are always trying to do things for Jesus instead of receive Jesus. He spoke about allowing Jesus to care for us so that we can care for others. In many ways, not anything earth shattering. But it all frames differently for me under the title Commandment Thursday and I'm left wondering a bit how I could get this far without knowing what it meant. There are a lot of funny words floating around churches, I guess I just chalked it up to being a funny church word and moved on. 

Being challenged to both let Jesus wash our feet and then to go and do likewise looks a lot different as a mandate. We all know the line in Jesus' reply, that if Peter doesn't allow his feet to be washed than he has no part with Jesus, but how often do I see it as a command to receive? To receive in prayer, receive in the Word, receive in the vulnerability that says to someone else, I need help. I'm a picky person, and nothing makes me pickier than needing help. In Jesus we have a High Priest who helps us in our weakness, and often he helps us by the people he puts in our lives, if we are willing to receive. 

It's easy to receive, to abide in him, in church. It gets a bit harder when we walk out the door. Or before we walk in it. My week off had not been going to plan. Instead of spending my time resting and socializing and rejuvenating, I'd been just trying to keep it together. In the hours immediately preceding church I was busy beating myself up for not being able to find the restaurant my friend and I were going to eat at before church, leading to a hot sticky walk down streets with which I was not very familiar and then a rushed dinner at a different restaurant and last hurried scramble to get to church on time. Anything that goes wrong in Bangkok in April is made worse by the oppressive heat and humidity that envelop the city, sticking to your pores like glutinous rice in a toddler's hair. It's a small price to pay for missing the Polar Vortex, I know, but it's obnoxious all the same. 

So it was nice to walk under the arches of the airconditioned and stained glass church at 7:02, already a few lines into the service, and hear the words Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name, and shortly after be commanded by Jesus to receive, to abide, to serve, and to love. As we reflected on Jesus' last hours with his disciples, it was good to be reminded that the work was already done, his body broken and his blood spilled, and to be directed to simply receive it, receive him, and then go and love as he loves us. 

And now you prepare a table for us offering us not just bread and wine but your very self, so that we may be filled, forgiven, healed, blessed and made new again. 

Fast and faster: Learning intentionality

The discipline of fasting is not one that I grew up with, or have ever practiced regularly.  I did a 30 hour fast in high school once, as a fundraiser with my youth group (we raised funds for an organization that fights world hunger), but that's about it.  Last year, my (then) church did a week fast in early January as a way of starting the year in fasting and prayer. We were encouraged to fast in some way during that week.  I chose to do a complete fast for one day and spent my usual meal times in prayer for the year, for the church, for Thailand, etc. 

My current church is just wrapping up a three week fast with a similar purpose- to fast and pray for our church and its ministries, for our family/friends/neighbors, and for Thailand as a whole.  This year I chose to do a Daniel fast, which I started right after my family left (the church started a week before me).  The Daniel Fast is based on the book of Daniel, where Daniel and his friends rejected the rich foods of their Babylonian captors in favor of "vegetables and water".  There's plenty of information out there about what foods are or are not allowed, but the gist of it is no meat, dairy, sweets, baked goods, additives, fried food, or beverages besides water.  I have tweaked those a bit and included Jif peanut butter (as opposed to the "approved" natural peanut butter, I mean, have you seen that stuff separate???) and not been too obsessive about things like chicken broth which may or may not have been used to make the pumpkin soup I ordered the other day. 

Some of the things I have learned from this time of fasting have surprised me.  First, I was quite surprised, and nearly a little horrified, to enjoy it so much.  I really like cooking and eating healthy foods.  The strict diet forced me to be creative in what I ate and to pack a lunch eat day, which is maybe not so fun the night before but is AWESOME everyday when I compare my food to the school cafeteria.  There have been challenging moments for sure- the first days back to school without my morning tea (okay, EVERY day without my morning tea), the Christmas chocolate still in my fridge, the oatmeal every morning, controlling my ginormous sweet tooth, etc.  But mostly, the yoke has been easy and the burden light. 

The second thing that has been huge for me is a lesson in intentionality.  When I've done complete fasts in the past, the main goal was always to just block out food from my mind. Not think about it.  Here, the opposite is true. I have to think about food all the time. I have to shop and prepare food constantly.  Every time I will be away from the house at meal or snack time I need to plan ahead and bring something.  I have to think about getting protein and carbs.  When I grocery shop I read every food label, making sure I'm getting the basic, real, good food- no additives, especially sugar.  and I've learned about the parallel needed in my own life, the intentionality I have been lacking. 

I may be a "planner" in many ways, but I'm not a dreamer or a visionary.  I don't have any idea what my future is going to look like.  And many times, both on the larger scale of life and the smaller scale of day to day living, I let life happen to me instead of being intentional about where I'm going.  I'm quick to say yes, and then soon find myself overbooked and overwhelmed or somewhere I had no intention of being.  Last semester this was especially true.  I took on too many tutoring students, too many commitments, and as the ball got rolling, I quickly found myself much busier than is good for me.  So this semester, when one of my tutoring kids dropped out, I intentionally decided not to fill his spot, even though plenty of kids are begging for it.  I'm laying the pieces of my semester schedule slowly and intentionally, letting these first weeks of school settle first.  I'm planning now for some days with my closest friends in Michigan this summer.  And it feels good. 

The fast has also just given me the chance to spend time drawing near to God, sitting at his feet, both on my own and with friends who are doing the fast with me.  Together we are seeking God's face for our own lives, those of our friends and family, that of our church, and our host nation.  We don't necessarily fast and pray because God promises some great miracle, we fast and pray because we know that when we do, he hears us and acts on behalf of his people.  That, in and of itself, is reward enough. 

Reclaiming Sunday morning

My entire life, Sunday mornings have been for one thing: church.  Last year, I visited nearly a bazillion churches in Bangkok before settling on one in January. However, after a few months, I realized it wasn't a good fit and in May, revisited a couple of others that I thought could work.  There was one that I really liked, but their service was at 2pm on Sunday afternoon, an odd choice, and to me, kind of a drawback.  But after more visits and praying about it over the summer, I have since settled in there and have learned that I LOVE the 2pm start.  And it makes sense.  There isn't a single solitary verse in the Bible that tells us we have to meet in the mornings. 

I am just now discovering the joy of a Sunday morning.  For one thing, since I have Nak Suu on most Saturday mornings, it gives me a chance to sleep in once a week.  I am a morning person and I love getting to enjoy a quiet morning.  Sunday morning is also Saturday evening in the US and Argentina, making it a perfect time for skype.  Watching Tigers games live instead of on delay is another great option that comes on a Sunday morning.  It also means that I can get to the weekend market even on weekends that I have Nak Suu, or that I can be lazy and stay in my pajamas all morning without feeling guilty for missing church or something.  It's also fantastic to have a nice long quiet time on Sunday before heading to church- I find it makes my time there so much more worshipful. 

I love plenty of other things about this church, and I'm glad that I decided on it when the 2pm was a drawback so that I can now experience the perk of reclaiming my Sunday mornings.