Moment of the day September 16

It's not a picture, I know. So instead it will have to be a thousand words.  

After school today I had a meeting with a Korean parent who speaks Korean and Thai, but not English (or at least, not a lot, we chatted a bit in English and she knew more than I expected, even if she wasn't fluent). We had a Thai staff member sit in to translate and the parent spoke Thai, since we don't have any Korean speakers on staff.  First, it was funny to me that it was a Korean mom speaking Thai which was translated to English for me, and my English back into Thai for her.  But a cool thing happened through the 30 minute conference: I didn't need a lot of translation! I usually let the translator translate it into English since I wasn't catching 100% and I wanted to be sure I was correct in my understanding, but as we went I followed along more and more and even started to respond a bit before/without the translator.  I didn't get every single word, and since it was her second language she was definitely speaking slower than a native Thai speaker, but I got enough. I got the gist, and even a few details. It was a great moment for me, and as an often frustrated language learner, I need to hold onto those moments.  Maybe someday I will get to the point where I can respond in Thai too, but for now I am happy with a bit of understanding. And for your picture of the day, you can just picture me in my classroom doing my happy dance and beginning to recover a bit of the mojo.  

Picture a day September 3

Thai tutoring started up again a few weeks ago and this year, in addition to listening and speaking, I am working on my reading and writing as well. Today's picture comes from my Thai book. Thai has 44 consonants and 32 vowels, most of which I managed to memorize during my break periods during my last months of substitute teaching in Michigan before moving here. I don't know the obscure ones, but mai pen rai. The problem is I still can't read or write properly because of the tone rules. Thai is tonal and the tone of the word depends on the class of the consonant (there are three classes), the vowel, the final sound of the syllable, and the tone mark, if one is used. Confused yet? I am :)  My first task is to learn the classes of the consonants, as I was too overwhelmed to learn them with the consonant sounds. Then... I can start tackling the rules that are on this chart. Or, I could give up and quit, which is always a distinct possibility! 

Picture a day August 9

                              

This is the note my helper (maid) left for me when she came this week. She knows she can write me notes if she needs to communicate with me because I can either read them or take them to school and have help reading them. I was pretty sure this be said that she was going to come back at 6:30 in the evening, but I wasn't 100% sure. At 7:15 she called and she came by at 7:30, but she greatly overestimates my Thai abilities and I really didn't understand what she was trying to talk to me about. So in the end we still had to get someone to translate, but at least I think I read the note right! 

The hardest word to learn

This year I am focusing on language learning in two ways. First, I want to study Thai regularly, in a one on one setting, like I did my first year. It's a priority in my schedule and I have a lead or two on teachers who might be willing and able to help me. But I am also going to work on practicing the hardest word to learn in any language: no. 

I'm crap at saying no, and am highly susceptible to guilt trips, which means I frequently end up with too much on my plate. I run around doing things that I don't want to do or feel called to do, not leaving any time for the things that I love to do or the things that feed my soul. So this year I am working on it, no, nein, ไม่ใช่. And even when pressured, I am working on not feeling guilty, and definitely not giving in! I hope to use this newfound freedom to exercise more, cook more, and feel less exhausted so I can spend more time with people, building the relationships that make living here doable. It remains to be seen how successful I am, but so far I'm doing great at saying no, quitting the commitments I need to, and listening for God's call to determine what I do. 

Thai Class

YAY! I am half way through my intensive Thai course and am so glad that I chose to do it.  I expected to have to drag myself there everyday, and while there have certainly been days when I'd rather take a nap, overall I have really enjoyed going.  I don't have to concentrate as hard as I did at the beginning in order to follow along and the two hours pass much more quickly than I imagined they would.  The biggest challenge at this point is the sheer amount of vocabulary that I am getting everyday- there's just no way to remember it all. This is how I usually feel during class:

I just can't catch all the words falling at me.  But I am being exposed to them and I plan to use December and January to work on reviewing and memorizing more of them, in addition to improving my reading skills.  One thing I've been really proud of with this class is that I am working from a book that's written in Thai instead of phonetics. I can really see my reading and writing improving, but it has also shown me some of the HUGE gaps in my reading and writing, which would be natural since I basically taught myself how to read and write from a book I bought while I was back in the States.  So I have the basics down, but I'm crap at the finer points, and at some of the not so fine points as well. 

One thing that has been really enjoyable about the past two months is the singular focus of it all.  I work from 6:30-3:30, I have Thai from 4-6, I eat dinner and have time for one other small thing- whether it's a skype date or catching up on email or watching an episode of Downton Abbey.  My schedule is fixed and regular and routine- ahhhhhh.  But at the same time, being gone for 12 hours a day gets tiring pretty quickly and I'll be glad to have the flexibility back to return to tutoring, coffee with friends, actual grocery shopping and cooking, and things like that. 

And don't worry Argentine friends, my Spanish is still stronger :)  Though Thai is catching up!!

Thai Class

So many things to blog about!  But foremost on my brain right now is Thai class, since it's eating up most of my free time (M-F from 4-6pm!).  The good news is I really enjoy it so far (after 2 days at least) and I feel like I am learning a lot.  As I am sure you've noticed, I've been a bit frustrated with my Thai the past few months, so this is me doing something about it.  And though it's fun, it's also tiring- it's not yet 8pm and I'm ready to crawl into bed. Mostly, it's about priorities.  The dishes are piled high in my sink.  I just finished unpacking after arriving home 3 nights ago.  Cooking (and grocery shopping) have gone out the window.  I'm using the guest duvet since it had a cover on it when I got home- my helper can put the cover on mine tomorrow and then I can switch back.  I haven't even started blogging about my vacation.  But that's okay.  For the these 4 weeks, language learning is the priority.  And it's challenge enough on its own, without worrying about all those little things. 

Language learning is a humbling experience.  It's humbling to feel so dumb when you don't understand.  It's humbling to feel slow when others understand faster than you do (especially as this is something I never really experienced in school).  It's humbling when you try out a few words on your Thai friends and the corrections are numerous.  It's humbling when you know you've learned a word before, but you just can't remember it. Or you butcher the tone.

But language learning is also a fun way to combine two of my favorite loves: words and mathematics.  The words part is obvious. The math part comes in when I begin to see the patterns emerge in the new vocab and grammar, when word order become a puzzle I can rearrange and put together, when a rule or formula makes sense.

One thing I am learning in this class is how to concentrate like I've never had to concentrate before.  In school, I could day dream (or read a book or work on homework) easily and still understand what was going on.  But when I'm being taught Thai in Thai for 120 solid minutes, by the time I think oh, I'm getting a little hungry, I am lost and it takes a minute to catch back up again.  Or the minute my mind wanders to the only decoration in the small classroom- a map of Thailand- she's lost me again (this is why I believe less is more in classrooms).

I hope I emerge from these 4 weeks a more competent and confident Thai speaker.  I hope I emerge alive as well.  But getting 40 hours of Thai lessons in a 4 week period can't be anything but a good thing.  Right? 

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Learning Thai is many things, but above all, it's hard.  I'll be honest, usually in life, I learn things quickly, if I put my mind to it.  I've rarely been the one sitting there thinking, I'm so lost, I don't get it, I feel so dumb. But today, about an hour and a half into my two hour conversational Thai class I found myself thinking those very things (trying to listen at the very same time).  I felt so stupid, and wanted to just scream, "Mai kao jai!" I don't understand. 

I don't feel that way often, not even with Thai, because usually when I don't understand Thai (which is most of the time it's being spoken) I don't feel like I am supposed to understand it.  But there in my lesson, I am supposed to understand, or at least try to understand.  And when I don't, I end up feeling stupider than ever.  It's easy to a point to just slip into the habit of pretending that I understand, of doing the smile and nod and hoping that my ummhmm responses are appropriate enough without full comprehension.  Thing is, I know the only cure for this problem is more Thai. 

And I do want to learn. I want to understand. I want to speak, fluidly and correctly. I want to read more quickly and accurately. I want to someday feel about Thai how I now feel about Spanish.  I'm not there yet. Not even close. 

Granted, I've only had two lessons since May.  But a lot of it has to do with courage: having the courage to speak Thai when I do have opportunities.  Having the courage to work and strive to concentrate and understand for the entire 120 minutes.  Having the courage to say mai kao jai and hoping to catch more on the repeat, instead of just pretending along. 

It's important I think, for teachers to keep learning, if for no other reason than to remind ourselves how some of our students feel on a daily basis.  Lost. Frustrated.  Dumb. Like giving up.  Tired of having to say, I don't get it.  Today, I wanted to just quit.  But I know that if I stick with it, with this new more challenging teacher, I will learn. I will get it. 

Whew, I still speak Spanish!

I have to admit, I was a little concerned about the linguistics before I came to Buenos Aires this week.  In the past two years, I've been able to read and write Spanish a little bit, but my opportunities for speaking and listening have been few and far between- and most have been with people speaking with different accents than I am used to, making things more difficult.  So I was worried that I had lost most of my Spanish. To my great surprise, I've lost a little bit of my speaking fluency, but otherwise seem to be right where I left off two years ago- meaning there are times I feel very comfortable with the Spanish and other times where I can't seem to get it to come out properly. 

I have really been enjoying the Spanish though, and singing in church last Sunday was definitely one of the highlights.  There's also been a little bit of Thai floating around my head, but mostly just a few small phrases that keep wanting to come out. I'm sure these weeks of Spanish will set my Thai back a little bit, but I'm guessing not too much as I'm at least exercising the foreign language muscle pretty heavily!

Jungle Luxury

This past week, I had the chance to walk out of my daily life, cross a river, and spend three days enjoying God and the jungle of rural Thailand. In the process, I made many discoveries.  One such discovery, and this may come as a shock to some of you, is that I love nature.  I love green things and flowers. I love the songs of insects at sunset.  I love sitting beside the water. I love being outside, even if that means getting a little sweaty.  And most importantly, I love nature and all of these things best when I can enjoy them from the comforts of a luxury boutique hotel. 

The Bangkok Tree House did not disappoint.  I expected a quiet place to spend time with God and explore his creation, and I found the perfect blend of both.  My days consisted of solitude and reading and prayer, but they were also built around bike rides down elevated jungle paths, menus entirely in Thai, peddling around parks and gardens, stumbling upon a Thai market one day and a 200 year old temple the next, and evenings in the tree tops watching the sunset light up the sky in one direction and the lights of Bangkok light it up in the other. 

The time in solitude with God was great- lots to reflect on and pray over as God continues to implore me to trust him fully, to surrender my life to him, to seek first his kingdom and his righteousness before all else.  I have never done anything like this before- taken a few days for myself on a personal retreat, not one organized by a group or church of some sort.  I kind of expected to get bored or a little bit lonely, but to my wondrous surprise, I was none of those things.  I found that in a very real and concrete and unemotional way, God's presence was my constant companion, and was more than just enough.

One of the unexpected joys of my retreat was that outside the hotel, when I would go out for meals or exploring, I used only Thai.  There are quite a few foreigners (farang) in my area, and it was a fun change being the only one around (I counted 4 that I saw in 3 days, and 3 of the 4 were within 10m of the hotel).  As I'd ride by on my bike, I'd hear kids call out after me, "Hey, it's a farang!"  Others would see me and shout out hello in English.  At one point, on the way home after a hot sweaty ride to the park, I stopped for something to drink. I was hoping they had Thai iced tea, but had to get an orange soda instead.  The guy asked me where I was from, and I explained that I was from the States, but was living and teaching in Bang Na.  He was quite complimentary of my Thai.  I kept insisting that no, it really isn't that good, but he continued to be impressed.  It's not that 3 days of ordering food or saying hello in Thai and all that actually improved my Thai, but I think it did improve my confidence, which at this point is what I really am lacking.  I feel confident in my lessons, but still quite shy to speak in public because I am well aware of how much I don't know or understand.  But this was a step in the right direction. 

I took a million pictures- of the beautiful, eco-friendly Tree House, of the surrounding area, of the temples nearby- but the blogspot photo loader is a bit slow so I won't put all 150 or so here.  Those I have on facebook. But here are a few of my favorites!

First floor of my nest: the dressing room looking into the shower room.

View from the second floor bedroom.

The nests.

Tuesday evening on my rooftop.

Bike path.

Breakfast! Also: toast and eggs (you get to special order what you want)

Wooden window shutters inside 200+ year old temple nearby.

Park a few miles bike ride away.

Little gift left on  the bed each day.

Nearby temple.

Sunset from the roof Wednesday night. My favorite times were evenings on the rooftop patio.

A few of my favorite things...

The past week to 10 days here could be described in one wonderful word: routine.  Lots of different pieces of life have fallen into place that has given my days a rhythm they've not had before in Bangkok, and it's been really nice.  This week I had a chance to sit and reflect on some of my favorite things about living in Bangkok:

• Fruit.  I love that a variety of fruit is available nearby peeled and sliced and ready to go, all for a great price.  The fruit stand just down the street from school is one of my favorite stops. Quick, easy, cheap, and healthy.  
• Riding on the back of motorcycles.  I love that this is a regular part of my life. I love that last week I had 8 mototaxi rides in a matter of 3 days.  I love it's just part of my routine now. 
• Starting to speak and understand a bit of Thai.  Usually this is pretty limited to giving directions to taxis or ordering food, but today I was able to talk to the woman who cleans my house and arrange for her to come on a different day this week- and I did it all by myself :)  With language learning being so full of frustration and misunderstands, one of my favorite things is definitely speaking and being understood or hearing and understanding. 
• Seeing God at work in hearts and lives. I love the moments where I can see or learn about what God is doing in my students or in people who are exploring who God is at my church or in the kids at Nak Suu.  
• Friendships.  I love the people in my life who encourage me, listen to me, share their lives with me, and spend time laughing with (and occasionally at) me.  
• The heat.  I know, it's crazy hot here.  90's and humid all the time.  The sun is wicked intense.  You can't go anywhere without sweating.  And sure, I would love a few beautiful sunny warmish but not blazing hot days, especially as we head into the hottest month of the year.  But really, I have no complaints.  I never wear socks or proper shoes.  I never need mittens or long underwear.  I can feel my nose at all times.  My skin, nails, lips, and hair don't dry out.  Bliss. 
• Public transport. I like using the skytrain and buses and taxis and my own two feet.  I like that I am able to get around pretty well on my own.  I love that I never have to drive!
• Nak Suu.  This next month is summer break for Nak Suu, and I'll miss it. I like the regular part of my life that it has become.  I made a commitment to help out for one semester, but I don't really see myself stopping.  I like teaching these kids English.  I like learning their names, being able to talk to them more as I learn more Thai and I teach them more English.  I like running around on the rugby field with them from time to time.  I like their eagerness to work on their "th" sounds.  I like hearing them pray, hearing them talk about their faith in the living God. 

I also really love my Saturday afternoon naps :)  After a long hot sticky morning at Nak Suu, I come home to eat and shower and collapse on the couch to the pleasant hum of my air conditioner...

Good answer, but wrong question.

Language learning has its ups and downs.  I remember when I was first learning Spanish there would be days where I felt like I really got it, and days when I couldn't put two coherent words together to save my life. There were times when I felt like I was learning a lot, and times when I felt like I was working just as hard, but not learning anything.  The whole process felt rather magical at times. I went to this woman's home once a week, we spoke Spanish for two hours, I only studied occasionally in between, and magically over time I was able to speak Spanish.  I can also remember multiple occasions where someone asked me something in Spanish and I responded, but then later when I thought about it, I realized I had answered a completely different question than they had asked.  Oops. 

Learning Thai is so far proving to be much the same.  I have a one hour class with my tutor on Tuesdays and two hours on Thursdays.  On Tuesday, I could hardly think or talk and was utterly incapable of producing Thai.  Today, things went much better.  I could mostly follow along and could respond and joke and laugh and tease.  There are weeks I feel like I'm gaining a lot of new vocabulary, or weeks when I can tell I'm suddenly able to use vocab I know, and then there are weeks where I feel like I am stalled, not getting anywhere.  There are times when the only words that pop into my head are bueno, entonces, y, así, and other filler Spanish words. 

And, there are even times when I answer the completely wrong question.  Right after school today I went to look at another apartment with one of the Thai teachers from school (this is not the apartment for me... still looking).  We had discussed that I needed to be back in time for my Thai class so as we walked to the apartment complex next door she spoke some Thai with me (very slowly and clearly:).  I understood most of what she said, but at one point she was asking me something about how long and I couldn't get the rest of it, so I figured it was how long my class is, since that's what we had talked about.  So I answered that (and was feeling good about it) when really she had been asking how long I had been studying Thai.  Oops. 

I was pretty proud though that I even spoke any Thai to her. Usually I get way too embarrassed to speak with the Thais at school which is such a shame because most of them would probably really think it's great and they are a great practice resource, just sitting there for me every day.  I keep telling myself I'll be ready to just talk any day now but then in the end I get too shy.  Oh well, little by little. 

See Spot Run: Basic reading

Yesterday was a huge accomplishment for me in my study of Thai.  I stopped by to see a friend in her office, and then headed up to my classroom to teach my last class of the morning.  By the time I got up the stairs I had an email from her.  When I opened it, it was short, but entirely in Thai!  I was pretty surprised. She speaks only English with me and our conversation hadn't even been about language.  Wow, I thought, she must be trying to challenge my Thai and see what I can do! So I read through it and was able to make out all of it but one bit.  One syllable I could tell was the sound "nay" but I had no idea what it meant. So I could get the entire second thing she said but only about half of the first line because of the word "nay". 

I wrote back telling her I was a bit confused and explaining which bits I understood and which bits I did not.   Turns out she was trying to send the email to someone else (a Thai)! And I understood it!  Today I asked her what the nay was.  Turns out it was the first part of the word "nation" referring to a building near campus called the Nation Building.  I got the "chan" part, but chan has a meaning on it's own- though it's spelled differently from the "chan" sound in nation, I couldn't tell since my Thai spelling is nonexistent.  Just working on speaking and listening and reading for now.  Once I knew the word nation, I understood the entire email :)  All two lines of it anyway! 

And if you hadn't noticed, I'm feeling pretty proud of that :)

Dear Thailand, the honeymoon's over.

Preface: For those of you who have either experienced cross cultural transition or have dealt a lot with those who have, this post comes as no surprise.  I am sure that many of you, dear readers, have seen this coming, just as I have.  Problem is, like a speeding train barreling down on, seeing it coming does not necessarily make it hurt less when it runs you over.  

Dear Thailand,

The honeymoon is over.  Don't get me wrong, dear adopted country,  I still love you and want to be with you; I have no plans to leave you.  But I would like to make a few things clear to you. 

Thailand, I don't necessarily understand your systems, and just because I hang back and observe for a moment before jumping in, it doesn't make me stupid.  I am not an idiot just because I don't  know which room or window to go to at the post office or the bank.  No one every told me to write down that number or save that special paper, so I'm sorry that I didn't.  I might not know what to call the piece of paper that I need from you because in my country, that piece of paper does not exist.  And, although it's very convenient that all your doctors have their offices right there at the hospitals, please also know that that is very intimidating and I haven't a clue of where to go or what procedure to follow in order to see the doctor that I need to. 

And my dear Thailand, know that I do love your language- its sounds and tones and the way you say all the fun words twice.  But you should also know that I have only been here for 4 months, so even though you don't fully understand me when I speak your language, I think it's actually pretty impressive that I know as much as I do.  So speak softly, and try to listen closely to me when I speak to you.  And be patient with me when I'm not ready to speak, because I mix up so many words or don't know the right words, so I'm not sure I'm really ready to communicate with your language yet if I don't have to. 

Thailand, I like that you are new, that you are an adventure, but sometimes I wish you were a little less exhausting.  That you gave me a little more personal space on public transportation, that you took the heads and the legs off the shrimp in my fried rice.  Sometimes I wish you didn't have U-turns or so many stairs to climb to cross the road.  That I didn't have to take my shoes off quite so much when my sandals have a buckle.  Sometimes I wish that you didn't have so much pollution that my boogers turn grey or that you could lower the humidity so that I could straighten my hair for just one day. 

I love you Thailand, I really do.  And I'm so glad that I am here.  I love your fried rice and noodles, your chaa yen (even if it keeps me up at night) and easy going attitude.  I love the high value that you place on family and the smile that is so often on your face.  I love the plethora of green plants all around me, and that the air is soft and gentle on my skin year round.  But I have to tell you, that even in all that love, the honeymoon has most definitely come to an end. 

Here's to working out a way to still spend our days together,
All my love,
Clare

Inside Out

Transition is, by nature, a bit of a roller coaster experience.  In one instant you can be incredibly excited by something you just accomplished and in the next completely exhausted by what it took out of you to get there.  It's a series of two steps forward and one step back. 

This past week I have accomplished much:

• A trip to the plant nursery to buy pots and dirt, and getting all my plants repotted
• Discovery of my (already well blogged) new dance class
• My first Thai class here
• My first formal classroom observation at ICS
• First trip to the nearby Saturday morning market, which felt like a real field trip to Asia
• A trip with friends to Amphawa (the floating market) to take a canal boat ride and see thousands of twinkling little fireflies light up the night
• Numerous good conversations with friends

But these have taken their toll as well.  It's been a fairly stressful and overwhelming week, one that has reminded me of my own limitations and that it is God, not I, who is in control.  This weekend I am working on "slowing down" both internally and externally, on living in the here and now, in the present moment , and just sitting back to enjoy- even as I look forward to the days when all of this will be easy and routine.

I have been reminded of how I am completely and utterly dependent on Christ for everything and anything. I started a study this week on the Beatitudes found in Matthew 5 and learned something really cool.  In English, each one starts with the word blessed, in Spanish the word is dichoso.  I had always assumed that dichoso meant blessed.  But I learned this week that it in fact means 'happy'.  And I learned that the Greek word there is makar which means an inner state of happiness or contentment that is apart from and unaffected by circumstances, a happiness that is found in the character of God.  It comes from His Spirit within me.    All that out of one simple little word.  To a certain extent, I think we all already know this, that true contentment is not found in the world and things and circumstances around us, but for me it is important to be continually reminded.  My joy or happiness is not found in successful ministry or excellent teaching or in wonderful moments spent with family or friends.  My joy is in Christ alone, and nothing can change that, no matter where I am or what I am doing or what transition or phase I am in. 

So, although I take time to appreciate all the accomplishments that this week has brought, I celebrate even more that the fatigue and struggle brings me closer to God.  He has blessed me so richly, in general and here in Thailand specifically, and I can't wait to see what he has in store as more and more I seek him. 

Words? Yes, please!

I love words.  No, really, I mean it, I LOVE words.  Love them.  I like speaking them, hearing them, learning them, writing them, reading them.  Which brings me to two very exciting things in my heart and life this week: the start of Thai classes (in Thailand, hopefully not forgetting most of what Toomy taught me in MI) and the consuming of the Word of God in a new way. 

I live in an English speaking bubble here, and most of the time, that's okay.  My primary ministry is at the school, is with my students and their families, and the girls in my LifeGroup.  And that is awesome. I love them and I love what I do.  But my ministry and calling in Thailand goes beyond the gates of ICS as well.  I want to be involved in ministry of mercy of some kind- probably with orphans and/or kids in some way.  But those guys don't speak English so much, so my effectiveness is pretty limited until I can communicate with them.  Enter Thai classes. 

Second, this past week God has brought some amazing conversations and verses into my heart and life.  And suddenly, I want to study God's Word in a new way.  I have  never really paid too much attention before to Biblical word meanings in the original language, be it Hebrew or Greek, but I have been seeing more and more lately how that can reveal so much to me about Who God is.  Even just reading the Bible in Spanish shows me new things at times, how the different translation brings out a different aspect of the original meaning.  So I am currently hunting down some good tools for this but am not feeling real patient in the mean time.  The internet is a great free resource, but you know me, I want the physicality of a good book, which I will get eventually.  I have just been so blessed this week- both by conversations with people that encourage me in my walk with God to people who have helped take care of me while I have been sick to extra Jesus time while I am in bed recovering to an email from an 8th grade student who apparently really missed me while I was gone and wants to make sure I am okay because math was "too hard and confusing" without me there. 

I am asked a lot what brought me to Thailand, and why Thailand, and my answer never really satisfies me.  I think it's because the reasons I am in Thailand go way beyond what I can see.  I might  not fully understand them for some time, or ever, but that's okay.  I know God is here, working and moving, and I am just glad to be a part of it.

Prayer requests:

• Health- complete recovery from the bug I've had this week.  I am slowly regaining strength, but still not feeling 100%.  Pray for wisdom to ease back into my schedule and to be careful about not taking on too much and getting run down. 
• Language- that my ears and tongue would be loosened to the Thai language and I would be able to see growth even in just 2 hours of class per week.
• Ministry- for now for the four 8th grade girls in my LifeGroup, that God would reveal himself to them in new ways as we study the book of Matthew together. 

Where are you from?

Did you know that where you are from depends on where you are?  Here are some examples of where I have been 'from' in my life:

In Scotland:  from The States
In Argentina: Los Estados Unidos or the US (and definitely NOT from 'America')
In Thailand: America (said with a Thai accent).  If you say anything else you're met with a blank stare
Amongst Americans: Michigan
Amongst people I suspect follow college football: Ann Arbor

Delights and Bummers, and few prayer requests

Delights:

• My students. There are a lot of them, and some of them are very quiet and others are very silly, but I am enjoying getting to know them.  
• The weather.  I know, it's hot and I'm sweaty and all that, but I never wear closed toe shoes or a sweater and I love it.  Just don't leave home without an umbrella!
• Exploring.  Going downtown on my own on Saturday was the best!
• I am reading a great book called "From Buddha to Jesus" that gives me a much better idea of where to start in conversations with Thai non-believers, like my new friend from Wat Saket.  
• There are a lot of great people here.  Maybe too many, as will take time for routines and friendships and groups to form.  But the people I am getting to know have been such a blessing already- baked goods in my school mailbox, notes of encouragement, laughter and talking over dinner, etc. 
• Stretching class.  These people are hilarious.  They were really working yesterday to talk to me (in English) and I was cracking up.  A few of them are a bit crazy, but in a fun and entertaining way.  It's good to be laughing when you are trying to do the splits at the age of 30!  And it has been awesome to get to know my friend Bo better, who goes with me and introduced me to the class.
• Rainy season.  I love it when the sky opens and the rain pours down.  I love it even more when I am watching from home and not standing at a bus stop!
• Teaching Spanish!  And trying to speak Thai.  Sometimes.  Not very often.  Yet. 

Bummers:

• The students here are a slightly different breed than in MI or Argentina.  Can't quite put my finger on it, but can tell I am going to have to adjust some things in my teaching and management style, and soon.  Plus, since there are so many it will be harder than it was at BAICA to get to know them well.
• Friendships take time and you can't force them.  
• Time zone differences make skyping with family a bit tricky, which makes me feel pretty far away sometimes.  
• Down days.  They are a part of transition and a part of adjusting to a new everything.  But knowing that doesn't exactly make them any more fun.  

Ways you can pray for me and my ministry:

• Pray for relationships with my students, that I can connect with them academically (a number of them have struggles with learning, with ESL, with math, or with other social/emotional things) but also spiritually.  Pray that the relationships we build now would open them up to more spiritual conversations.  
• Pray for finding a church home.  There are more churches with English-speaking services than I thought there would be.  I have visited 4 of them and have (maybe?) narrowed it down to 2.  Or 3. There are great things about all of them, and disadvantages to each.  Pray that I can settle in a place with sound doctrine, good preaching, opportunities for ministries of mercy in Thailand, and a community where I can connect and grow. 
• Pray that I can 'find my place' with my schedule and friendships.  I am working on arranging Thai lessons and also some Spanish practice time and know that those things will help my life feel more routine.  I am also really working on being intentional in seeking out relationships to build, but there are a lot of them (which is good!) and I need to find the balance of alone time and relational time. 

Interviewed

After school today I had coffee with a friend at the coffee shop in the apartment complex next door to ICS. While sitting and chatting, we were approached by a group of teenage Thai girls, wondering if they could ask us (me, actually) a few questions.  Apparently they were out doing their English homework, and were camped out at this apartment complex because a lot of farangs (foreigners) live there.  Funny part was they didn't want to talk to my friend, who is of Asian descent (but quite American), just me- I think they wanted a white person for the pictures :) .  To interview me they stood next to me while one of their friends taped it on their cell phone.  The first girl had another friend stand off camera with the questions written out on a sheet of paper, which was good, because I would not have known what the questions were otherwise!  After she finished they walked about 5 feet away, stood there for 5-10 minutes before a different one of them asked to interview me.  At least I could understand her!  Then a third girl finally picked up on the fact that Karly was also a good interview candidate, and talked to her.  A bit of an interruption to our conversation, but pretty hilarious to me.  According to Karly, this won't be the last time it happens...

PS- Second day of school went well.  I met most of the rest of my students today, and got most of the rest of the introductions/syllabus/rules bit over.  One more day of school this week then we have Friday off for the queen's birthday.  Yeah three day weekend!

Still winter

According to Michiganders, it is "warming up" outside. But when I look outside, all I see is a Buenos Aires winter. It's 40F, maybe, and raining. Now, I'm not saying that it's not better than the single digit temps we were having, I'm just saying that in my book it's still winter. And boo on winter. Plus, they're predicting snow this week, so let's not get carried away.

Tomorrow I should be starting my next long term sub job teaching math. It will be at the same middle school as the last job, and I'm really glad about that. I was there yesterday, in for someone else, and got to sit and eat lunch with people I actually knew, who know me and include me in the conversation. As a sub, this is big, and makes such a difference in my day.

I'm continuing my Thai classes once per week and actually feel like I can say a few things now. My processing time is really slow so I don't think I'd be able to say much in real life, but I'm making progress at least. Yesterday I learned how to tell time. They don't use the 12 hour clock or the 24 hour clock in Thailand. They have a special system, which luckily has a few spots that utilize the 12 hour clock and has a few other patterns imbedded in them. What I've discovered is that if I can find I pattern, I can learn anything.

That's about all for life around here. One of these days spring will actually come!!

Words, palabras, kam

I love words. I think maybe on some level, I have always known this, but it has certainly become more apparent to me in recent days. I love language. I love reading and writing and speaking and listening. I love Spanish and the mystery of translation and communication. I love learning Thai and being able to utter even the most basic sentences. I love how words carry so much meaning, how they paint pictures, how they connect people, how they heal.

I've been reading through many of my favorite books in recent months, books that never make the trip overseas with me. My latest book is The Dance of Life by one of my all-time favorite authors, Henri Nouwen. I was introduced to Nouwen in college and was immediately struck by his depth of writing. The Dance of Life is a collection of many of his writings and my copy is entirely dog-earred, underlined, and starred- though one passage struck me this week as especially applicable for where I am today. I've written before of the inner struggle between joy and sadness, about leaving Argentina, about being here, about going to Thailand. Here, Nouwen writes about such complex emotions:

Our life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as clear-cut pure joy but that, even in the most happy moments of our existence, we sense a twinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of its limitations. In every success, there is the fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear. In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is knowledge of surrounding darkness.

Joy and sadness are as close to each other as the splendid colored leaves of a New England fall to the soberness of the barren trees. When you touch the hand of a returning friend, you already know that he will have to leave you again. When you are moved by the quiet vastness of a sun-covered ocean, you miss the friend who cannot see the same. Joy and sadness are born at the same time, both arising from such deep places in your heart that you can't find words to capture your complex emotions.