Adjustments: there's a teenager in the house!

Life with an 18 year old is interesting- some things I knew to expect, others I couldn't see coming. One of the biggest differences between having Robin here verses every other roommate I've had in my life is that for the first time, I am responsible for feeding another human being on a daily basis. You mothers out there will get a good chuckle out of this, but this whole meal planning and grocery shopping thing is kind of crazy. Especially for a girl who has basically lived off a minimart for over two years and grocery shopped from time to time, but certainly not regularly. But somehow, when you're feeding two people, that whole cooking thing and buying food seem a bit more important. 

So here I am, grocery shopping weekly and throwing around words like meal planning. Don't get me wrong, we still eat food from the shops on my street and go out some, but even cooking a few meals a week requires some coordination and planning, especially when you're feeding a pescatarin. 

So I would say food and feeding are adjustment number one. 

Adjustment number two is more subtle, but probably more profound. Awareness. I am suddenly aware at all times of another persons movements, especially the first few days of volunteering at ICS. It's kind if a strange feeling for someone who never really had to think about anyone else before. At first, the awareness was exhausting and overwhelming, but I've gotten used to it and she's more independent around the school now, so it's definitely less intense. But still kind of there- which is a good thing when you're keeping an eye on someone else's child in a foreign country! 

Adjustment number three is that I feel and sound a lot like my mother. There are things she will do and I see myself in her, doing or saying those things to my mom. Not big or negative things, just how an 18 year old does the dishes or talks about their day or walks down a sidewalk. I look at her and smile and understand my mom just a little bit better. 

The beat goes on...

Well, school is up and running with five days under our belt. Long enough to start to make some observations about my new kiddos and start to settle into a bit of a routine. I enjoy routine, and so far enjoy the kiddos as well. I do not enjoy the alarm clock going off at 5am, but soon I'll adjust to that too, and it won't feel so much like the middle of the night. 

Every year at ICS is different- new colleagues, shifts in friends and relationships.  I'm not a big fan of all the change, but at least it keeps me from getting bored. Sometimes I wonder if I would ever survive at a "normal" school where I work with essentially the same people year after year. Example: the entire sixth grade team has changed over since I got here, including the PE, art, Bible, Mandarin, and some music teachers- and the principal! The Thai teachers are the same, and the computer teacher. And me, of course. It keeps life interesting, even if it does mean I have to renegotiate the social landscape on an annual basis. 

Rainy season is in full swing, as witnessed by today's photo of the day. I don't leave home without an umbrella and enjoy the looming gray sky that settles over the city many evenings, but other than that rainy season doesn't really affect me much. Watch me now get totally soaked while I am out tomorrow evening and completely regret that last sentence... 

Yesterday was Mother's Day in Thailand, and also a holiday. It made me wonder though, if I had school age children, is it really a holiday if they all stay home? I heard once that when the kids are young, the perfect Mother's Day is for all the children to be OUT all day, and then when they grow up the perfect day is for them all to be there at the same time. I can definitely see that! I don't think there are many things my mom enjoys more than all her kids in one place at one time. Happy Mother's Day, Mom! 

Graduation Day

Yesterday was HS graduation at ICS and it got me thinking about my own students who are graduating this year. One of my 8th grade classes from BAICA will walk across the stage soon, as will my last group of 6th graders from Lincoln (the rest of my Lincoln students are already college aged, and hopefully IN college, which ummm, doesn't make feel old at all).  At a large high school like Pioneer, graduation is just two hours of torture, but at a small school it is kind of sweet, and every time I have to go to one it makes me want to stick around somewhere long enough to see my own students graduate. I am already setting aside mental space and money to be in Buenos Aires when the class of 2016 graduates, especially if one particular kid is still there.

It would be nice to see the kids that I have poured into make that move from childhood to adulthood. I look at my 8th graders and I look at the Seniors and I marvel at how quickly they grow and change in those four years. What I can't quite imagine is being one of their parents. I love watching the parents during the ceremony. They are looking at their 18 year old, but all they are seeing is the toothless baby grin, the kindergarten Mother's Day card, the awkward preteen enthusiasm, and the tears of teenage drama. For international Seniors, graduation often means moving to another country, another continent, and can mean living thousands of miles away from family- no wonder their moms are crying!

So maybe someday I will get to see my students, my kids, complete that milestone. I want to see the boys who wrote sixth grade poems full of poop jokes and girls who burst into tears when they forgot their PE clothes, the ones who loved reading Geronimo Stilton or struggled to line up their decimals. I want to see them look back and get all sentimental and then walk forward into all that life has for them.


Also, couldn't write this post without congratulating all my graduating cousins this year! Three from high school: Robin, Anna, and Will; one from undergrad: Carolyn; and one who just added an MD to her name: Rachel. Wish I had made it home in time for all the celebrations.

Just another week in Bangkok...

What a week it has been!

A debacle with my (and my friend's) visas to China (we are supposed to leave next Friday... situation yet to be resolved).

Easter Sunday with church and friends.

An overnight with my favorite little people, six month old twins.  The twin I was in charge of for the night only woke up once, but I slept so lightly listening for him all night that I was exhausted!  New respect for motherhood.

A visitor in town for 30 hours- an American that I know from Argentina who currently lives in Switzerland was passing through Bangkok on her way back from Phuket.  So we had a lovely Thai dinner on Tuesday after she got in (and a late night for early-to-bed me) and a fantastic sushi dinner downtown on Wednesday before her flight out (another late night for me).  Great stories, laughs, and catching up. 

Giving the SAT tests at school, eating precious prep periods- blech. And a school laptop being stupid right when I needed to get work done- grrrrrrrr. By Wednesday afternoon when I had our middle school staff meeting I was so tired that I was just on a roll in the meeting, pretty filter-less. The tact button got turned off in the fatigue. Oops. 

And now I am housesitting for a week, watching baseball and being a hermit so I feel more human for this long weekend. I'm sure going to enjoy that holiday on Monday!!

Thoughts on Mothers

In the past month or so I've had the opportunity to be a 'substitute mom' for a few days to some of my cousins when their parents were out of town and I stayed with them. I've also been able to see my own mom in action when I, at 30 years old, needed her. Needless to say, the experiences have given me a whole new appreciation for moms and what Motherhood is all about and I figured this weekend of Mother's Day was a good time to comment on it. Here are a few of my observations:

• Being responsible for someone else changes your perspective on everything. Your thinking and planning no longer centers on yourself. It's a subtle but significant shift. It's not about you any more.
  
• Vegetables matter. I'll be honest, when I make dinner for myself I don't make a lot of veggies. I do love veggies, but let's be honest, they're a bit of a pain to prepare. But when thinking about dinner and preparing dinner for my cousins it suddenly became not so much of a pain in the butt because, well, veggies and being healthy matter. I think we had some sort of vegetable at just about every dinner growing up. Must have been real annoying, but she did it because it was good for us.
  
• Moms have to get out of bed and off the couch. This may sound simple, but for part of the time I was with some of my cousins I had a nasty cold. Left to my own devices I would have spent several of those days in bed or on the couch, certainly not up and about and showered. But when other people are relying on you, getting up is not really an option.
• Routines matter and details matter. I've noticed this with young kids when I substitute teach ("Mrs. So-and-so always stands on the other side of the calendar") but it matters just as much at home. One day I forgot the napkins (2- one for a placemat and one to use) in my cousin's lunch, and was asked very politely by a 6 year old if I could make sure to remember them tomorrow:) Moms establish those routines and follow through with them day in and day out.
  
• Mothering never ends. When you are 30 years old and you can't sleep in the middle of the night because you can't lay down because of your sinuses and you're miserable and you don't know what to do about it- you call Mom. And she shows up the next day with sinus rinse and drugs and TLC. Because that's what mom's do. And when you're still sick and you have friends come visit she helps you be the hostess because it's taking all your energy just to get off the couch.

My mom has been doing all this and much much more for 32 years. She watched soccer games and baseball games when I'm sure she'd rather have not. She spent weekends at skating competitions, was woken up in the middle of the night too many times to count, and even now that her children are older, she is still often their first phone call. She's still Dr. Mom. She's the dog-sitter and dinner cooker and holiday tradition upholder. In particular, this past year of my life would not have been possible without her. I live in her house and eat her food and drive her car and leave bits of food in the sink (somehow I can never rinse it out quite well enough) and yet she never complains (ok, maybe just about the sink) and I think, maybe, is even glad that I am here. And that is quite a Mom.

Happy Mother's Day!