Wedding day!

I must confess, I have quite a back log of blogging, but only because I've been too busy having fun to stop and write about it. It's a good problem to have. My sister's wedding weekend was awesome. We kicked off the family fun Thursday night with a birthday dinner for my dad and brother before Friday's rehearsal and the big day in Saturday. I had great fun being her personal assistant, I mean, maid of honor. For those three days we were practically attached at the hip. She was an amazing bride- calm, organized beyond belief, and totally stunning. The entire evening was a huge success and a ton of fun, especially once I got past my toast and could start to relax. I didn't take any pictures, but my sister in law did, so here are a few of hers. 

At the rehearsal dinner

At the church, waiting for the show to start! 

 

Our bouquets

 

 

 

Delivering my toast 

At the end of the night, we hugged and she said, "Thanks, I couldn't have done this without you." And at first I responded, "Anytime."  But then it was like, wait, no, "Anytime, but never again!" 

Love: my sister's wedding week

My sister is getting married in Saturday, and since she's marrying a great guy, there can be no greater joy for an older sister. Completely coincidentally, I am also reading 1 John, which talks a great deal about love. And I've been thinking a lot lately about God's love for us, a perfect love, a fear-banishing love, an unchanging love that loved us first.

Sometimes I get in these "if only" modes where I find myself constantly looking ahead- to the next big event or next big trip, to the end of a semester or the start of a new one. Somehow I start thinking that if I can only get there, than everything will be fine. But the truth is, things 'over there' are pretty much the same as they are right here. My fears and insecurities follow me from one country to the next. Sure, vacations can be a nice time to step out of some of the day to day stresses of life, but they come and go, and I am right back where I started.

This week I have been struck by the call in 1 John to love those around me. This time is really not about all the things I need to do to get ready for the wedding. It's not about finding a great dress for the rehearsal or writing the best toast or not forgetting anything when I pack. This week is about loving through service, about being available to do whatever needs to be done to keep my sister sane and the wedding train on time. It's really just about loving her and her fiancé and then sitting back and enjoying being here for the moment.

Our choice to love others fills us more deeply and intimately with God, allows us the peace that passes understanding and the grace to step through the stress. Without that love, I am nothing. Without loving others, I don't love God, and without loving God all is empty.

So I pack up my stuff and joyously lay down everything I am carrying, so that I can walk this time with my precious sister. I certainly have not always been much of a sister to her, but I am so excited to be there this weekend and stand beside her as she makes this commitment of love. She's going to knock your socks off, this sister of mine, and I can't wait to see it!

In Defense of "Deciding " to Marry Later in Life

Sigh.  There are several Christian marriage articles zooming around the internet these days and clogging up my facebook. These articles, written by well meaning people, highlight all the great benefits that they have gained from marrying young and all their confusion at their peers who choose to establish their lives and start a career and buy a house before getting married.  They go on about the benefits of growing together in marriage instead of becoming who you are before you marry.

Well, I for one am sick of it. I am sick of the assumption they are making that I sought career over marriage or decided to find financial security before a husband.

Never in the first 25 years of my life did I imagine that I would be where I am today.  I just assumed I would marry in my early (maybe mid) 20's.  But it didn't happen.  Nor has it happened in the 7 years since.  It's nice that they met someone early on, but just because I didn't, don't assume it was by choice.  Don't assume that my marriage will eventually be weaker because we likely won't have to work insane hours while finishing school or live in a tiny apartment with a screaming baby.  Don't assume that just because I know a lot more of who I am than a 21 year old that it will somehow impede my ability to choose a good spouse.  If anything, it will help me.  I am not saying that people who marry young marry "just anybody".  I think they are just lucky.  But I am not going to marry "just anyone" simply to get married young, or at all.

It's easy to say that my singleness is my own fault because I live overseas.  I get that.  But get this: I'm here because God called me to be here.  And if there is someone that God has for me to marry, he's not going to let a little geography get in the way. He's God.  Being in Thailand might statistically lower my chances of meeting someone, but since when has God ever played by statistics? 

So you, article writers, I am happy for you. I'm glad you grew through the years together, glad that you will probably still be young when you become a grandparent, glad that you will get to a 50th anniversary.  But I am also glad for what God has taught me through the days and weeks and months and years of being a grown up on my own.  I will never get to be a young bride or a young mom- a bride and a mom, yes I hope, but not a young one. That's a fact I've had to come to accept, albeit slowly and a reality that I've learned to handle, albeit gently.

So yeah, I'm sure you didn't intend to insult and offend me with your article, but just please remember that life is one part choice for every three parts circumstances.