From Siam to Siem

I confess, I cannot take credit for the title of this blog. I stole it from the shirt that a bike rider was wearing at Angkor Wat, a biker who had just cycled from Siam (Bangkok) to Siem (Siem Reap Cambodia).  At first I 'bout fell over when I saw it, since it had taken us about 8 hours to get there.  But then I remembered: This is Thailand; This is Cambodia.  An 8 hour drive here is only slightly longer than the drive to Toronto or Cincinnati, and thus only slightly longer than the rides I did in HS.  Granted, we weren't biking in the tropics, but anyway. 

I love having a fall break, and not just for the obvious reason of a week off school. It's awesome when international schools have week long breaks because it's not long enough to make the journey home (and thus return exhausted and out of cash) but it is long enough to travel regionally.  Our time in Siem Reap was awesome, even with the last minute changes in schedule.  One of the girls I was traveling with has friends there and we were able to stay with them and really enjoyed spending time with them.  We also did our fair share of tourism, including the required trip to Angkor Wat.  We rented bikes ($1 a day :) so we cycled out to and around the temples.  We started out at 5am to hit the sunrise and miss the heat, and it was worth the early morning. 

We also had a chance to meet up with the church plant team in Siem Reap and one of my favorite parts of the trip was meeting them and having the opportunity to share with them and encourage them, as well as be encouraged by how God is working in their lives. 

After a few days in Cambodia, we headed back to Thailand for a few days at the beach.  It's not far between the two places, but it took us nearly 24 hours.  We boarded a bus in Siem Reap at 8:30am (it was supposed to leave at 8) for a 2 hour drive to the border.  A mile or so before the border we stopped and pulled over and waited. For half an hour.  A guy came, gave us all red stickers, and we got back on and went to the border.  The border is a walking border, meaning we all unload, take our stuff, and literally walk across a bridge and go to immigration.  We arrived at 11:30am and the line for immigration was long.  The back half of the line was in the sun. It was the middle of the day. And we waited.  It took nearly two hours to get to the shaded part of the line.  Then another 90 minutes or so to get to the front of that line where we could go in the Air Con building to get in the actual lines.  We finished immigration about 3:30pm.  4 hours total. 

From there we got in a van that was supposed to take us right on the ferry to the island.  Except it's a 3 1/2 hour drive.  And it was 4pm when we were leaving. And the last ferry leaves for the island at 7pm.  So we made it to the town on the mainland, where we had to get a cheap room (with our lovely one waiting for us!!).  Needless to say, we woke up early to catch the first (6am) ferry over and at least got to have our yummy breakfast we had paid for. 

Our days on the beach were a lovely blur of reading and napping by the water, swimming, eating delicious food, and even learning how to ride a motor scooter.  I also learned about jellyfish.  Every time we tried to go in the water there were lots of jellyfish.  I've never been stung, and I'd like to keep it that way, so I mostly stayed out.  Funny thing was, no one else on the beach seemed the least bit bothered by them. So the second day we all ventured out and gingerly got past the jellyfish to an area where we felt safe. But when we tried to go back in, there were swarms of them. Everywhere.  My friend and I tried to swim in but ended up surrounded and shrieking.  I eventually made it past them, but not without a lot of encouragement and some definite prayers- I recited Psalm 23 aloud the whole time I walked through :)  After that I didn't go in past my ankles.  Apparently, the jellyfish are only an issue in rainy season. 

We arrived home Sunday night, after a thankfully uneventful van ride home.  Can't wait to go back! 

Angkor Wat at sunrise

Temple of the faces

Temple where they filmed Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, not that I ever saw it.  Cool place though!

Love the hallways with columns!

Our trusty wheels!

Sunrise from the ferry

Beach at Koh Chang

Last meal before heading home, at our favorite spot!

Encouraged

to encourage: a verb defined as to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence.


I have been inspired with courage, spirit and confidence by several things lately, by several ways that God has moved back the curtain for a brief moment so that I can see his hand at work in lives and ministries around me.  

At school, the staff was able to hear from two graduating seniors (one here for 2 years and one since Kinder) who come from non-Christian families yet heard about Jesus at ICS and have come to know and love and serve him.  Hearing their stories gave me inspiration for the days in my classroom when it feels like such a struggle.  A week later we had the chance to hear from two parents about how their children came home from school talking about Jesus, and how they decided they had better learn more about him in order to understand their kids- and how they too have come to know him personally and how he has changed their lives and families.  

I also had a chance to meet with a staff member of Thailand Campus Crusade for Christ.  Crusade is an organization that I'm fairly familiar with, but I didn't know they were in Thailand.  I met with one of their national staff and was so encouraged by her story of coming to know the Lord through Crusade while she was at university, and how she is now on staff with them full time.  Across the world, the most effective missionaries are often the native missionaries- they know the language, the culture, the systems and they help people see that this Jesus stuff is not just for foreigners, it's for them too.  It was a joy for me to hear how I can partner with her in her ministry on campus and support Thais reaching out to Thais.  

I have also been encouraged by growth I'm seeing in the kids I work with, both at school and at Nak Suu.  As the school year draws to a close I have had the chance to step back and bit and remember those first weeks and months and see how so many of the kids have grown- academically, socially, emotionally and spiritually.  And at Nak Suu, I'm seeing the results of their recent leadership camp for the kids as well as the results of what their team pours into these kids each week. I'm seeing the older kids stepping up in ways I haven't seen before.  And even though my learning curve is still pretty steep and I continue to struggle with  what and how to teach in such an environment, I think I heard the kids speak more English today than ever before.  


I also got to have some fun with two particularly, um, squirrely boys. I had a chance to pray with and for them, in addition to talking to them more in Thai and running races against them and just having fun.  It cracks me up when I speak a few words of broken Thai to them and they suddenly think I can really speak Thai and start chatting away at me and asking me to translate stuff that other people say in English.  


Which leads me to another inspiration of courage recently: speaking more Thai at Nak Suu and in a few other quick situations and I'm getting closer to having the courage to really start practicing and using what I know. Right now I basically only speak it with my tutor and with the NS kids.  But I am getting less and less self-conscious about it every day.  


I love the way that God has been painting these pictures for me lately and for how they have encouraged my heart in the work that He has given me here.  In three short weeks year 1 in Thailand will officially come to a close- and what a year it has been, God-shaped and God-inspired, it's only the beginning. 

Nak Suu Rugby Academy

Yep, you read that right. This post is about a rugby academy.  This is where I was last Saturday, and where I'll be most Saturday's next semester.  But I will not be there teaching rugby :)

Nak Suu is a ministry of Youth With A Mission (YWAM) in Thailand.  It is a rugby program for kids from children's homes and slum communities in Bangkok.  The program includes learning to play rugby and being a part of a team, but it also includes life skills, evangelism, lunch, and English class- that's where I come in.  Next semester I'll be teaching the English lessons.  On Saturday I went to check things out and get a better idea of what I would have to work with as  I plan my lessons.

I had an awesome time!  Around 70 kids attended last week and after getting everyone signed in and reviewing the rules, they were split into two groups based on age.  The younger kids went off to the rugby field (with people who, you know, can teach rugby) while the older kids stayed for their English lesson and then a project about the fruits of the spirit.  I had a great time interacting with the kids. One thing that was awesome was that I got to use my Thai!  There was a visiting YWAM mission team there, who didn't know any Thai, so it made me feel quite helpful in that regard.  The kids mostly understood me and I mostly understood them, when they were talking to me.  Their chit-chat?  Not yet :)  After an hour, the groups switched and we redid the lessons with the younger kids.  After that they were served lunch and then headed home.

To be honest, I was pretty hesitant to make this commitment.  When I was looking for somewhere to volunteer with local kids a few months back, I was thinking of roughly once per month.  What I found was a Clare-shaped hole at Nak Suu that needed someone around 3 times a month.  But I spent time praying about it and have really felt called to bring this particular gift that God has given me (teaching) to these particular kids.  All of last year in the States God and I were dealing with this issue of not just giving, but giving sacrificially.  I read so many books and saw so many situations where people were called to give beyond the norm, and it inspired me.  So when I went to pray about this opportunity, what God said was, Clare, this is your chance to give, not just out of your abundance, but to give sacrificially. Yes, it will cut into your sleep. And your social life. Yes, there will be weeks you'd rather do something else.  But for this time and season, this is where I want you.

After visiting last Saturday, I am very excited to start.  I'm also excited to pick up some basic ESL materials in the States, at least to get some fun ideas.  I have not been able to get the Nak Suu website to work, but this is the Ark International page on the YWAM site, and Nak Suu is a part of Ark.  There is also an article about a tournament that Nak Suu was able to enter.

Please pray for me as I take on this added responsibility. Pray for physical strength and energy on Saturdays, for quick progress in Thai so that I can communicate more with the kids, and for wisdom as I plan what and how to teach them.  Please also prayerfully consider donating to their program through the YWAM site. I'll try to talk to the director soon to see if there is another website that will work better as well.  Thanks!!

Awakening: Five Days in Burma Part 4

Today's soundtrack- my current personal life soundtrack :) 

I've been wrestling with this fourth and final Burma post.  It is one thing to explain the events and experiences of the trip- quite another to explain my heart.  The truth is, you don't have to travel to Myanmar to find people in need. They are in Detroit, in Buenos Aires, and daily I see them here in Bangkok, especially now with the floods.  Truth is, the needs are great, overwhelmingly so.  And truth is, we cannot help everyone. 

But the stirrings of my heart in Burma go well beyond the poverty and hardship we witnessed there.  God is much bigger than that.  While there, we cried out to God on behalf of someone else, and that is something that stirs the heart mightily.  We read about and listened to the Voice of Love, a voice that calls us ever deeper into relationship with the Savior,  a Savior who comes with peace, yes, but also a sword. 

Perfect in love
Lord, You came to earth
To rescue me
You took my place upon that cross
The stains that held me back
Were washed away
You made me whole

A voice that reminds us that we are not in control, that freedom is not complete clarity and it is not relief from pain.  We met those who know these things all too well- they cannot pretend to have control over their lives, the way we so often do, they know that pain is not an "if"- it just is.  We heard the Voice of Love that beckons us to rest in Him, to rest in the ambiguity, to rest in our neediness and his love. 

Your love has set
The broken captives free
Your love released
The chains once binding me
I'm found in grace
In love's embrace
My heart is overwhelmed

So, where do I go from here?  I acknowledge how little control I have.  I don't control the flood waters. I don't control whether or not school is open tomorrow.  I don't control whether or not we will have a summer vacation after all this craziness.  I don't control the people around me- their actions or inaction or imperfect love.  I don't control where I'll be in a few years, where this journey of life will lead me.  I don't control my health.  I don't control the cycles of life, the living and dying.  I don't control much of anything, really.  And, neither can I control the circumstances of other people's lives.  I cannot change the situations my friends and family suffer through.  I cannot change the immense social and economic and political problems in the worlds around me.  I cannot help everyone. 

Sings my soul of how
Your love has set me free
Sings my heart of how
Your mercy rescued me
Hear my cry of endless love
To my Saviour and to my King
My heart is overwhelmed

But, I can help someone.  That I can do.  My time in Burma was in many ways an Awakening.  Just as we prayed for spiritual awakening in that nation, we pray also for awakening in us.  Awakening to need- need within our own hearts as well as in the world around us.  Awakening to what we can do, and it is much.  In two weeks I will have the opportunity to send items to the children I met last week. Next semester I will have the opportunity to spend most of my Saturdays teaching English to underprivileged kids from the slums of Bangkok (more on this at a later date).  I can be an open listener to my friends and family, helping them carry their burdens and allowing them in to help me carry mine.  I can pour into my students on the days I do see them (like today!) even if I don't know how many of those days I'll have in the coming weeks.  And, I am sure that I will have many more opportunities in the days and weeks and months ahead- if I have the courage and obedience to take them. 

I stand redeemed
Your Spirit now alive within my heart
I walk with you all of my days
I shall live to glorify You God
Hear my soul rejoice

Awakening: Five Days in Burma Part 3- The Children's Homes

Soundtrack #2, from the same album as the first one, linked here for your listening enjoyment.

As mentioned previously, we spent our day Saturday at two different children's homes with our friend Chan Chan who works at MCP.  We spent the morning at the girls' home, a small studio-type apartment not really much bigger than my own.  They seemed to in the process of building a wall dividing the room into two.  The home houses 12 girls, who seemed to range in age from about 8 to 17.  They were warm and welcoming, if a bit shy at first (hey, we were too!)  We played several different games with them- a rock paper scissors competition, duck/duck/goose in Burmese, a group clapping/leader game that I can't explain, and telephone (hilarious with the language barriers).  It was a lot of fun just to see them laugh and play and engage, even if it did mean we were dripping with sweat the entire time.  Literally. Running down.  Here are a few pictures from our game time with the girls:

Rock, Paper, Scissors game

More RPS

Hahahaha. Telephone in Burmese!

After we had played for awhile, the woman who cares for the girls invited us to sit down and eat.  In the back kitchen room, she and one of the older girls had prepared an oatmeal drink (so delicious!) and biscuits for us- you could tell that they really were wanting to give their guests the very best they had to offer.  Such a great example to me as a Westerner of true hospitality.  We ate and talked with her, and then asked her if there was anything we could send to them, and what we could pray for.  She told us they needed clothes, as those were hard to get, and asked us to pray for their education, health, and salvation.  Some of the girls are believers, some are not.  You could read the weight on this woman's shoulders as she spoke to us about the great obstacles they face, just educationally.  What a privilege it was to encourage her and walk with her, even just a tiny bit.  After that all the girls came in and we had the opportunity to pray with and for them!  What an honor. 

God is able
He will never fail
He is almighty God
Greater than all we seek
Greater than all we ask
He has done great things

 

We believe that God is able, even in the lives of these girls, even as we recognize the challenges.  They sleep on bedding on a cement floor, yet they are worth more than the sparrows.  They struggle to find clothing, yet they are more beautiful than the lilies of the field.  They were known and loved in the womb, yet they face an abandonment and poverty that we cannot comprehend.  It is a dichotomy that we cannot understand, but we know that He is able.  So, we do what we can. We will send clothes later this month, and some funds for education, but it is a small thing really.  One thing I have realized on this side of the world (heck, I could learn this even in Detroit) is that the needs are immense and we cannot allow ourselves to be swallowed by them.  Even still, I live daily in the tension of knowing, deep down, that I do not do enough.  

Oatmeal, biscuits, and tea- with the woman who cares for the girls.

Next, we headed to a boys home that is a "sister home" to the one for girls.  By this point I had nearly forgotten about the gallons of sweat pouring down my body.  Nearly.  When we arrived we were ushered to sit down where we were presented with fruit and bottles of cold water.  Not only that, as soon as we sat down several of the boys were standing around us, fanning us.  For a seriously long time!  They wouldn't stop!  

Part of the fanning team.  The woman seated in red takes care of the boys along with her husband.

After refreshments the boys introduced themselves to us.  Many of them stated for us, in English, their name, age, and what they want to be when they grow up.  Talk about touching!  My friend has some video of them saying it, and I'll get it and post some if at all possible.  Designer.  Engineer.  Doctor. Pastor.  Such hopes and dreams.  And, because of this home, they may become a reality.  We taught the boys some songs and played games with them as well.  And then, well, we just hung out.  The boys loved playing with our cameras, listening to music from my friend's iPad, playing guitar, and dancing around.  A great time was had by all.  This was also roughly when my camera battery died :(

Discovering the iPad...

Bedding/beds

Phillip, the son of the couple who cares for the boys

Before we left, we were brought back into the first room where lunch had been set out for us- noodles with either chicken or pork.  What gifts of hospitality.  We sat and ate and again spoke with the woman who cares for the boys and lives there with her husband and four year old son Phillip.  There was such a spirit of discouragement on her face, despite her smile and laughter.  She also requested clothes for the boys, and storybooks if we were able.  And then we were able to pray for the boys, and perhaps just as importantly, for her and her family.  Their goal, she said, is to raise them to be strong leaders in their community, to have strong morals and be followers of Jesus, to be good men.  

God is with us
God is on our side
He will make a way
Far above all we know
Far above all we hope
He has done great things

 

One of the other gifts of this day was the time we got to spend with our dear friend, Chan Chan.  What a gift she gave us- taking us to see the kids (she even took us on the bus to get there, always an adventure!) and we were blessed by her presence and friendship all day.  Encouraging her and others who work day after day for these kids was part of the whole point of going.  He will never fail us. 

 

That evening, one of the missionaries who works with the homes through MCP was having a going away party to prepare for her furlough and she invited us to join them at a nearby park.  Why not?  We jumped into the back of a pick-up truck (read: bus) and headed to the park.  There, we met up with all the girls along with several other of this woman's friends (side note: it was interesting to sit and talk with these women serving in Burma, not an easy country to serve in, and to just get to know them and hopefully encourage them).  It was a joyful celebration- though I must admit, it had been a long day, we were still dripping with sweat, and I was, emmm, playing large group games with a bunch of strangers (gag).  It actually wasn't too bad and we were talked into staying and eating with them after the games.  At this point we had to say good bye to Chan Chan, as well as all of our other new friends.  We limped back to our hotel where we showered, dropped into bed, and slept for 10 hours.  Whew!

Awakening: Five Days in Burma Part 2

The soundtrack, just in case you love it as much as we do, or want to hear the song that goes with all the random lyrical interjections.


Every Nation Church Yangon
We spent a little extra money on airfare in order to fly back to Bangkok on Sunday night instead of Sunday morning.  Our reasoning was that we wanted to be able to attend church in Burma before we left.  We got the contact information for this church from a friend who had previously attended there.  What a privilege it was to worship with them!  There is an Every Nation church in Bkk as well that I attended once and really enjoyed.  It was awesome to witness what God is doing in Yangon.  Basically every person there outside the pastors had come to know Christ through this church, primarily through their English outreach program.  I had the opportunity to talk to one girl who came to the English program and came to know Christ 7 years ago after finishing high school.  Since that time her brother has also become a believer and they are praying for the salvation of their parents.  We met many other young people with similar stories and spent time talking with them and the pastors about the challenges their church faces.  While the government is somewhat tolerant, they were shut down a number of years ago and have had to start over.  In addition to worshiping in the house of God and hearing a sermon about being dedicated to the cause of Christ, we were also able to connect with people and get information on how we can continue to pray for their church and for Myanmar.

For the world You love
Your will be done
Let Your will be done in me

Aung Sang Suu Kyi's HouseOne thing we wanted to do while in Yangon is see Aung Sang Suu Kyi's house, where she had been under house arrest for so many years.  On Friday afternoon we were looking for a taxi to see if someone would take us there.  A taxi driver stopped for us, even though he already had a passenger in the front seat.  I'll just drop this guy off first, he told us, just right over there.  We laughed and asked him if he could take us to Aung Sang Suu Kyi's house.  Her house?  Why?  We told him we just wanted to take a picture.  Pictures?  No.  No pictures  But you can look.  We agreed, and after dropping off this other dude, we headed up there.  Funny thing was, after we turned down her street, he told us to get our cameras prepared and he would give us a count of three to take pictures while he drove past.  He made one pass, then did a U-turn to head back towards downtown and we had a second go.  All you could really see was the white wall around her house and a row of flags sticking up above the wall.  As we went back passed the driveway, an SUV pulled out with two men riding in the back.  Our driver told us that these men were democracy party leaders, very high up.  My friend gave them a Thai wai and he waved back- but the best part of all was our driver's exhilaration!  After we took the pictures and this guy waved to us, he was all giggles and shrieks and goose bumps.  It was fun.

In Your presence
In Your power
Awakening

"Blending in" 
Living in Asia is very different from Buenos Aires: I can't hide, can't blend in, no matter what I wear or how I carry myself.  It has its pros and cons.  On this trip, we all stuck out, which made me feel a bit better.  One thing we noticed right away, and asked our guide/friend Lilly about was a yellow 'powder' that many women (and even some men) wore on their faces.  What is it?  What is it for?  It's a bit like make-up apparently, but one that is worn not only for beauty but also for sun protection. Ahhh, smart.  (As a side note, this is another umbrella-in-the-sun carrying nation, even more so than Bangkok.  While I hadn't brought my umbrella, I did frequently wear my sunhat without shame.).  We decided that we wanted to get, and wear, some powder too.  Easier said than done.

On Thursday we set out to find the Myanmar Compassion Project HQ in order to hopefully connect with a children's home or two.  We had an address, but the phone number we had didn't work, so we and our taxi driver did teh best we could he eventually dropped us off at a spot that he said was the address, and we got out.  There was a shop there, and a vaccination clinic, but no MCP.  We walked down the road a bit to look for it, but soon decided to head back.  We tried asking in the shop for directions, but the language barrier proved too much.  We did, however purchase some of the yellow power from them :)  It came in a small rectangular block, like a bar of soap almost.  We weren't sure how to use it, but at two for 20 cents it was worth the risk.  Next we stopped in at the clinic to see if they could help.  We had to wait there for a bit, so we tried out the powder bar, much to the amusement of the girls who worked there.  They did come to our rescue a bit to indicate that we needed to put some water in our palm and rub the bar in the water in order to make a yellow liquid and spread that onto our faces, not just rub the bar on directly as we had first tried.  We still couldn't get it to work all that well though.  Once all the people there had gotten their shots, the nurse (only one who spoke English) came out to talk to us. She was extremely kind and helpful and got us pointed in the right direction. 

Within a few minutes we had arrived at MCP and were greeted by one of their English teachers, Chan Chan.  She told us that a team had gone out to one of the homes that morning and would be returning Friday night.  They didn't usually send teams out on the weekend, and we were leaving on Sunday, but Chan Chan agreed to arrange some visits for us on Saturday.  We were thrilled.  We then were invited to join her for lunch at the small shop/food spot next door.  What a treat it was to not only spend time with her but also to have a translator help us with food!  After we finished eating, we asked Chan Chan for help with our powder.  The people at the 'restaurant' were incredibly entertained by our laughter and feeble attempts.  But man, did we have a good time!

Chen Chen shows us how it's done.

Chan Chan was very brave to let some American girl put the powder on her face! 

Saying good-bye until Saturday!

Blending In, Part 2
I think the very first thing I noticed about Myanmar, even before leaving the airport, was the skirts.  Everyone was wearing them.  And by everyone, I include the men. Here's a picture with our driver from the airport to our hotel to illustrate:

All the skirts were long, ankle length, and straight.  The men's skirts seemed to be one large circle of fabric that they would knot in the front.  The women seemed to have to varieties, one that I couldn't quite figure out and another that was a wrap around.  While exploring the market on Thursday afternoon we each picked out fabric for a wrap around and had them made (15min each) while we had tea/smoothies.  On Saturday, when we met back up with Chan Chan to visit the kids, we wore our skirts and our powder- we did find an easier form of the powder at the market and used that instead.  We still may not have blended in at all but it was neat to see people's reactions and appreciation for what we were wearing.  Saturday, as we ran around, played with kids, got up and down from the floor and climbed in and out of cars, buses, and the back of a pick-up truck, may not have been the most convenient day to wear our new skirts, but it was probably the best day culturally.  Plus, if I'd been wearing anything any shorter you'd have been able to see the sweat running down my legs.  Bonus for me. 

 Heading out from the hotel in the morning

We felt a bit like penguins at times, but I really enjoyed my new look!

Awakening: Five Days in Burma Part 1

This blog post comes with a soundtrack.  Click here to listen to it. 

I have decided to call this post "Part 1" because I know that there is no possible way I'll be able to put all my thoughts together in one sitting, nor would any of you, my dear readers, have the time and patience to read all my thoughts in one sitting.

Early Wednesday morning I flew to Yangon, Myanmar (or Rangoon, Burma, as it was known beofre the military took over and changed it) with two friends for five days.  We returned home Sunday night.  Our school was scheduled to reopen today, but that has now been delayed until this Wednesday (Nov 9th) at the earliest.  We await the decision of the MOE and the flow of the water, which continues to move and still has potential to come our direction.

Before I left for the trip, a friend of mine who has been there and has traveled SE Asia extensively told me that if I could handle Burma I could go anywhere.  It's like going back in time, he said.  And in that respect, he's right.  I was younger than most of the cars.  The internet speed and availability reminded me of the monstrous computer in my family's basement when we lived on Martha.  Some of the taxi's we rode in had upholstery and interior panels, but many did not.  AC?  Hahahajajaja555 (that's me laughing trilingually :)  I have rarely (never?!) sweat so much in my life.  There is a natural beauty to Yangon, a city of lakes and parks, despite its dusty poverty, uneven sidewalks, and lack of infrastructure.  There is a spirit that somehow, despite years of living under a military junta, life goes on.  What I want to share with you are some glimpses into things I saw or did or experienced in those days, and some reflections on what it all means, on how you look into the face of a child who lives without hope, knowing that God alone is able.

In our hearts Lord
In this nation
Awakening

Hello. Money. 
On Wednesday, late afternoon, we were walking towards the downtown area from the biggest Pagoda/temple in the city when I was spotted and approached by a young girl.  She knew only two words in English: hello and money, but these she repeated to me, over and over.  She followed us for blocks, right there at my elbow, hand reaching out, palm up.  Hello.  Money.  We walked on, but she persisted, and we even talked amongst ourselves- what do you do?  Her cries reach our ears and our hearts, yet everything you read about such situations says not to give in this way, that it in fact does more harm than good.  We eventually sat down at a sidewalk table to an Indian restaurant that looked (and was) amazing.  She stood among the parked cars next to our table.  Watching.  Even under the glare of the restaurant owner.  When bread arrived at our table, my friend wrapped it in a napkin and walked it over to her.  A half smile lit her face as she began to eat it, but before you could say 'chicken curry' an entire family of 6-8 people had appeared.  Awake my soul.

Me enjoying some chicken curry on naan and some strong but delicious Burmese tea

Lilly
After we arrived on Wednesday, we headed out to see the big golden Pagoda in the middle of town.  On the way we stopped by a noddle stand for lunch, where my regimin of pepto with every meal started (miraculously, none of us got sick, and we kind of ate wherever).  We walked up all the steps to the top of the Pagoda, but opted not to pay to go into the temple itself.  Instead, we sat on the cool shady steps in front of it to pray.  No sooner had we gotten through the "Dear Heavenly Father," when a woman named Lilly who was a guide at the temple sat down to ask us why we weren't going in.  We started talking to her about her job, family, life, beliefs, and about Jesus.  While one of us did most of the talking, the other two prayed and listened- what an amazing divine appointment, just hours after arriving in the country!  We seemed to attract a lot of attention, just sitting there talking, and I was somewhat amazed that no one else came and sat with us.  Many of them certainly looked like there were about it!  After chatting, we went back to praying, including this woman and her family in our prayers.  

Holy Spirit
We Desire
Awakening

First meal in Burma!

With Lilly

Moments
We witnessed lots of "moments" in the park along the lake near our hotel.  Let me explain.  This park- the grassy bits surrounding the lake and the wooden walkways connecting everything- was covered in couples, sitting together, sometimes making out, and often with an umbrella.  For me, it was a bit like Buenos Aires, only maybe less intense.  But being Asia, it was hilarious.  We literally couldn't find anywhere to sit where we didn't feel like we'd be interrupting.  We spent lots of time in the park, walking, talking, sitting, reading, praying and journaling over the course of our days, and did eventually figure out how to just plop down wherever.  I did my best to get a picture of the scene, without being too intrusive, so you may need to click on the picture to blow it up to see the umbrellas and couples scattered across the grass. 

Moments beside Kandawgyi Lake

more later,
love,
Clare

The gospel of baseball

This is a blog post I've been wrestling with for a week or so now.  What exactly it means for me, and how to express it.  But the story goes like this. 

I love Tiger baseball.  And by love, I mean love. We, my family and I, went to the games when we weren't good.  When we lost 120 games in one season. When you could get a ticket for $8 and sit in the front row because no one else came to watch.  When you could park a few blocks from the ballpark for free. 

So when the Tigers made the playoffs this year, you can bet I was excited, even from half way around the world.  I hung Tigers gear in my classroom, and my students started asking what it was for.  So I told them. I told them about the game, about Justin Verlander and Miguel Cabrera and Papa Grande.  And so we watched, together, as the Tigers defeated the Yankees, and we celebrated.  My students became fans.  They wanted to know the score as badly as I did, so we paused, shamelessly, in the middle of class to check. And we went on to play the Rangers, and our fandemonium increased.  It was all they could talk to me about- at break, at lunch, and they tried- in class. 

There grew four groups of students.  The first group was mainly comprised of Korean boys.  These guys knew baseball before I came around, but they weren't all that into it.  I liked talking to this group.  I could tell them it was the bottom of the 5th, and they knew what I was saying- I didn't have to translate it into "a little more than half way through".  They knew the lingo. 

The second group was mostly American and other expat kids. They knew of baseball, and knew a bit about how the game generally worked, but they had never given it much thought until now. One of them, an eighth grade girl, came up to me one Monday morning following a rain delayed Sunday game.  "I missed the end of the game!" she exclaimed.  "The cut away to a Rugby game when the baseball game ran long because of the rain. I've never been interested in baseball before, but now I am, because of you." 

The third group of kids knew nothing about baseball, and really, still don't.  They ask me a million questions.  Why does NY have more H's then us?  What counts as an error?  When will the game end?  Can you score when you're pitching?  Hits. Runs, Errors. Innings.  None of it meant anything until I explained it.  They don't know baseball, but they became, in many ways, the most rabid fans.  They cared, because I cared. 

The fourth group of kids were rather amusing.  They were comprised of a small group of boys who went out of their way to cheer for whoever the Tigers were playing, just to goad me.  They were Yankees fans for a week, then Rangers fans.  They worked hard to reject anything I liked, and we had lots of fun going back and forth about it.  When they named their Jeopardy teams the Yankees and the Rangers, I wrote them on the board as "Yankees Stink" and "Rangers Stink". 

But at some point last week, my aunt put the following comment on our family blog: "Clare your students' enthusiasm for baseball is a good example of the power of modeling, I'd say. And also a good example of why children can not be taught primarily by computers...The relationship with the teacher is a big factor."  She was commenting more about the power of the human being vs. technology in teaching, but she inadvertently got me thinking.  In her comment about the power of modeling and the relationship with the teacher I realized that though I came here as a missionary of Jesus Christ, for the past two weeks I have been preaching the gospel of Detroit Tiger baseball.  


WHAT IF?  What if I shared less of my passion for sports (or tea or pink) with my students, and more of my passion for Jesus?  What if, when they asked me about my weekend, I told them how excited I was about what God is doing in my life?  What the Spirit of God in me shone as brightly as my love for baseball?  


I imagine I'd end up with four groups of kids not unlike the four I have now.  One group that knows all the lingo, all about God, but needs to connect with him in a real and passionate way.  Another group that knows of him, but has never given him much consideration before.  Another group who has little idea what the whole thing is about, but they know that they want to know more because of the passion they see in me.  And, a group who sees him and fully and completely rejects him.  But even in their rejection, they engage with him...


My goal this week?  Share my passion for Jesus.  Let that invade my mathematics and Spanish teaching.  Let that flow out of every pore.  Let them see my heart, and see what happens...

Mission and Vision

One of the reasons that I chose to teach at ICS is that their mission and vision so closely align with my own.  As you may have heard me say, four years ago I left for Buenos Aires as a teacher who was going to do some mission work.  When I returned to the US three years later I had become a missionary who teaches.  What, you may ask, does it mean to be a missionary who teaches?

I, like ICS, view education as a tool, as the "means" as our Headmaster likes to put it.  To me, education is a gateway into lives, relationships, and hopefully to salvation and discipleship.  The "ends" then, is Jesus Christ.  It is people coming to know him and growing in their walk with him.  At ICS, like many Christian schools, we use education as the means for achieving that. 

That means that there can be no compromises academically or spiritually.  In order for your tool to be effective, you must offer a world class education that can stand on its own without the spiritual component.  The spiritual component must be equally as strong, or you are just another school with good academics. 

There are dozens of international schools in Bangkok.  Bangkok does not need another international school.  But Thailand is only 0.7% Christian.  Thailand needs Jesus.  The ICS student body is just 30% Christian, giving us a huge opportunity every day in our classrooms.  The majority of Thai Christians come from the (often poor) hill tribes in the north.  The middle and upper classes of Thailand are considered an unreached people group.  Approximately 50% of our students are Thai- they and their families are this unreached group.

I believe that God has given me talents and skills in teaching, and in particular, teaching middle school students.  He has also given me a heart that wants to serve him and see him glorified among the nations, among all peoples.  I am grateful for those of you back home who support me in this mission.  So many of you have supported me with prayer, encouragement, finances and love.  Without those things I could not do this.  You are as much as part of this mission, as much a part of reaching these kids as I am. 

• Pray that I can be a godly example to my students in the classroom
• Pray for my continuing adjustments to Thai culture and the culture at ICS
• Pray for opportunities to connect with students more deeply in class and in student ministries activities so that they may come to know the Lord and grow in Him.  
• Pray that I can build support and accountability in Bangkok that can encourage me and hold me accountable. 

Torn

Today is a day when I feel inexplicably torn between worlds. It is my friend's birthday, and as she celebrates in Buenos Aires, I wish I could be there. I was able to skype with her for a few minutes and sent a small package of goodies, but it's not the same. I miss her. I miss being there. And at the same time, I am getting so excited for Thailand. All the new teachers at ICS have to send in a short bio and photo, which they put up on the intranet. And as those come in and I'm able to start to learn a little bit about my fellow new teachers, it reminds me of all of the wonderful friends I made in Argentina and how God is preparing friendships for me in Thailand, even now. I am excited to meet them, and the teachers that are already there- excited to just be in Thailand and start serving. And yet, I still have a little over 2 months to wait. And at the same time, I am enjoying spring in Michigan. I'm watching Tigers games with my family, running outside, having dinner with friends- last weekend I was actually able to attend a friend's wedding, a rare thing for me these past few years. And while all these times don't entice me to stay, they do remind me of what I am giving up when I go.

And yet even in the midst of all of this, I read Psalm 23 and I know I have a Good Shepherd. I am being led to green pastures; I am being watched after and cared for. I am deeply loved. The emotions of transition are a bit crazy, but they never interfere with the call God has on my heart. I had the best conversation last weekend with someone at the wedding- she was a youth group volunteer back when I was in high school- and it just fired me up even more for the work ahead in Thailand. She is heavily involved in short term medical missions and her passion and love for God and for people shines through her all the time. It's infectious. Talking with her was such an encouragement to me at a juncture when it would be easy to be discouraged, easy to let the transition emotions dampen my excitement for what God has in front of me.

So even when I wish I could split myself into three and be everywhere I want to be all at once, I trust that I can confidently follow the One who leads me down paths of righteousness, not for my benefit, but for the sake of his Name.

Something More

I've been watching a fair amount of "The West Wing" lately and have been finding myself drawn to something in the characters that I couldn't quite put my finger on at first. How could a television show make a job working 18 hours a day in politics and public policy look appealing? How could they manage to make it look fun? And then I realized what it was about these characters' lives that was appealing: they are working, giving all they have, for a cause that they believe in, a cause that one of them describes as "the real deal".

It made me realize what is so appealing about serving as a missionary teacher in Thailand- that I'll be a part of a team, working together, striving together for a cause we believe in, something more than a cause in fact, but the real deal. One of the things I loved about teaching at BAICA was the sense of family among the staff. Were staff relationships perfect? No- de ninguna manera. But, there was a sense there that I don't get in any other school or job, a sense that we are striving together for something that is worth something. And I am looking forward to that sense of community and family and purpose in Thailand.

In "The West Wing", they are not, obviously, working for what is true and lasting, no matter how noble the effort is. How much greater is it when the cause and ideal that we are putting our time into is the very one that lasts forever.

To be bored, therefore, does not mean that we have nothing to do, but that we question the value of the things we are so busy doing. The great paradox of our time is that many of us are busy and bored at the same time. While running from one event to the next, we wonder in our innermost selves if anything is really happening. While we can hardly keep up with our many tasks and obligations, we are not so sure that it would make any difference if we did nothing at all. While people keep pushing us in all directions, we doubt if anyone really cares. In short, while our lives are full, we feel unfulfilled... Henry Nouwen

Here I am, send me!

I find myself in such a conflict of emotions these days, part of me is still so attached to my nearest and dearest in Buenos Aires, part of me is so enjoying these days with family and friends here in Michigan, and part of me is quite ready to take on the challenge of Bangkok. In the past week, as I have made my decision known, I have found myself frequently answering the questions of why I am leaving again, and why Bangkok. And I think in response to that I find myself only expressing the positive emotions associated with going. It would be easy to think that I have no fear or sadness as I prepare for this change. In many ways, I think I feel the need to defend my choice, and to express these doubts or fears would somehow say that perhaps I shouldn't go. To me, the fear and sadness are not reasons to stay, they are simply part of going.

I see God's hand so clearly, months before I even get to Thailand. It was quicker and easier than I ever expected to find someone to teach/tutor me in Thai before I go. My first craigslist post was up for less than an hour before I got a response, and when that person didn't work out, my second post was up less than 24 hours. I start class on Tuesday and am amazed at how God has provided that so conveniently.

But I see it even more so in my own heart. In a country where less than 1% of the population knows Jesus, the need and the harvest is plentiful. When God asks "Whom can I send? Who will go for us?" I enthusiastically cry out, "Here I am! Send me!". I am blessed to like living in and exploring other cultures and languages, despite the obvious drawbacks and challenges. I haven't always been that way, it is an interest that God has developed in me, no doubt in preparation for this work. My prayer is not that God would make me happy, but that he would be glorified in me, that I would be fully satisfied in him, and the two are intrinsically linked. As Bryan Chappell writes in his book Praying Backwards: Transform Your Prayer Life by Beginning In Jesus' Name, "We are never more satisfied than when we are content with his plan for our lives...In short, when we have no greater desire for Jesus to be glorified in us, he grants us the desires of our heart."

I will love you enough to let go...

I heard this song on the radio this morning, and though it's not the first time I've heard it, it really struck me today as being so much about where I am right now. It's called You Can Have Me by the group Sidewalk Prophets.

If I saw You on the street
And You said come and follow me
But I had to give up everything
All I once held dear and all of my dreams

Would I love You enough to let go
Or would my love run dry
When You asked for my life

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

If You’re all You claim to be
Then I’m not losing anything
So I will crawl upon my knees
Just to know the joy of suffering
I will love You enough to let go

Lord, I give you my life
I give you my life
When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?

Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

I want to be where You are
I’m running into Your arms
And I will never look back
So Jesus, here is my heart

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
You can have me

When did love become unmoving?
When did love become unconsuming?
Forgetting what the world has told me
Father of love, You can have me
My Father, my love
You can have me

Sara Groves - I Saw What I Saw

Kingdom Without Borders

I've been back in the US for 2 months now, and most surface things that once shocked me no longer do (save the gigantic "medium" beverage I had at Hardee's last week). It's amazing how small the world can be, meaning that no matter which country I'm in, I do spend most of my time in a very small geographic region, easily forgetting that the world continues to live and breathe across large expanses. I was in the library about 2 weeks ago, sifting through my favorite section: New Nonfiction. So many gems to be found there, and this trip was no exception. In addition to walking away with The Eastern Stars (the story of sugar and baseball in a small Dominican Republic town), I also picked up Kingdom Without Borders: The Untold Story of Global Christianity. Though still 70 pages from the end, I can't recommend it enough.

Throughout its pages, Miriam Adeney tells countless stories about believers across the world, primarily in Africa, Asia, the Middle East, and Latin America. I found her story telling scattered at first, and it took me a good bit to get into the book, but now I can't put it down. Reading the stories of what God is doing across his Kingdom encourages and inspires me as I hope and seek to return abroad for the 2011-2012 school year. I read about Chinese believers sending missionaries back west on the Silk Road, about native missionaries in India and Brazil, about Iranian Christians reaching out with the gospel despite the government. Adeney never implores her reader to get involved in global missions, never nudges towards giving- she simply tells the stories, and through them, one cannot help but want to get involved in either sending or going. And the truth is, the global church is growing at an astonishing rate. It makes me wonder if the traditional western church is going to be left behind.

I've never been a big reader of missions books or many of the modern fad-like Christian books out there, but this one I love. Simple, unpretentious, and compelling, it gets me excited about educational mission opportunities I might discover when the job search process begins. It gets me excited to learn another language, to observe and learn another culture, to teach kids from so many different backgrounds. And it reassures me that whether or not we personally can see the fruit, God is indeed doing a mighty work for his Kingdom in my generation.