The girl who went to go to stretching class and came home with plants: a story of failure and redemption

Ever seen the English move "The man who went up a hill and came down a mountain"?  It doesn't really have much to do with this post except that's where I got the idea for the title.  Today was monumental in my life in Thailand in that it was the first time that I hit the brick wall of "culture shock" and just wanted out.  This is the story of the last four hours of my life. 

I left at 4:15 for my 5:30 stretching/dance class because there can be quite a bit of traffic on the road you take to get to the studio.  I have been to this class twice before, both times by taxi.  I meet my friend there who comes from her university class.  Otherwise we would go together. Instead, I brave the land of taxi drivers who may or may not know where they are going, alone.  I set out for the taxi stand right by school, where there were two cars waiting. Neither driver, however, was willing to take me in the direction I wanted to go.  Too much traffic they said. 

I should have turned around right then and there.  Except I didn't.  I walked to the main road and hailed a taxi there.  This driver was quite willing to take me, and I actually did a fairly decent job explaining where it was I wanted to go.  My language frustrations come when I know exactly where to go and how to get there, but it's often quite a task transferring that message to someone else.  This guy, to my surprise, spoke a bit of English.  Which is where things got interesting. 

As we drove, he started talking to me.  Now, before you envision some pleasant little conversation, understand that I had to concentrate completely on what he was saying in order to figure out what he was saying and then think of a way to respond or answer that was simple enough for him to understand.  The first little bit of this was fine, but sure enough, there was a bit of traffic and it turned into a looooong ride.  Along the way, he asked me: my name, how old I was, where I was from, how long I'd been in Bangkok, how long I was staying, where I lived, with whom I lived, where I worked, how long my contract was, how many siblings I had (and of course, what the birth order was), where my parents were, how old they were, what they did for a living, what my siblings did for a living, how much money I made, and why I liked Thailand.  He also managed to tell me about his ex-wife, why they got divorced, his two daughters, how much money he sent them each month, how much it cost him to rent his taxi each day, etc. etc. Now, you do have to understand that some of these questions that are considered quite rude by American standards are not rude here.  It's one thing to know that.  It is quite another thing to be peppered with these questions for over an hour in broken English when you cannot escape.  Also understand that when asked these questions by perfect strangers I make a lot of it up.  I'm truthful about my family and where I work, but not about where I live or whom I live with (I always live with friends and am always on my way to meet up with friends) and things like that. 

Now, the dance studio I go to is a small little place and basically I just get the driver on the right road and tell them to go straight until I say stop.  Meanwhile, once I know we are getting closer, I look really carefully until I see it.  Of course, I can't tell a word this man is saying and stare out the window at the same time.  So he starts making a T with his hands and asking me what you call that in English.  I'm baffled.  It is a bridge?  Is he looking for the word above?  What the crap?  Stop talking to me, leave me alone and drive!  Then he starts insisting on asking me left or right.  No, just go straight!  But he is very insistent.  Until I look up and we are at a dead end.  Oh.  That's called a dead end.  And this means we have passed the dance studio. 

At this point, stretching class is getting underway.  The taxi fare continues to climb.  And we need to turn around.  Except that on most main roads in Bangkok, you can't turn around.  They are divided highways and those "Michigan turns" that drive you nuts in Detroit are now gigantic U-turns, and there may not be one for a mile. Or two.  So we drive and drive to get to one and by this point I am fuming mad.  I'm irritated with talking to this guy, want to get out of the stupid cab, and am mad at myself for missing the studio.  On top of it all, he seems to think the problem is that I don't know where I am going.  And on top of everything else, it's quite poor form in Thailand to show or express your anger and frustration.  So while I want to scream and cry, I don't. 

After we turn around, the driver finally gets the point that he needs to be quiet so I can concentrate.  We get to the studio and I tell him to stop.  I'm ready to get out (flee for my life) and pay the guy, he seems confused.  "We're here. That's it, right there."  I point to the studio and hand him the money, which is 23 Baht more than the fare.  He still just looks at me, and I'm thinking dude, give me my change and get lost.  A few seconds later I decide the 23 baht (less than $1) is soooo not worth it and I get out. 

By this time we are 25 minutes into the class and I have no desire to go.  I'm too frustrated and fed up.  I am fairly certain that the 207 bus goes by there and goes all the way to my house- a long ride to be sure, but a cheap one without anyone trying to talk to me.  So the plan is just to hop on the bus right there, go home, and lick my wounds.  Except that the cab doesn't drive away.  He's just sitting there waiting.  So I figure I'll cross the street, go around the corner to the studio, he'll drive away, then I can come back and ride the bus.  Except that when I walk to the front of the building after waiting, he has turned the cab around and is sitting right in front of the studio waiting for me!  At this point, I am ready to cry. I pull out my cell phone and pretend to dial it and pretend to talk to a friend.  Except it's hard to pretend to talk to someone so really I just start praying aloud.  I nod a few times, smile and just start walking down the street in the direction of home.  I walk for a bit and don't look back at the taxi. 

After a few minutes I look up, "hang up" the phone and decide to cross back over the street so I can catch the bus going the right direction.  And there, across the street, is a little plant nursery.  I bought one plant a month ago, and I haven't killed it yet, and I really would like to have more plants, so I decide that while I am there I'll have a look around.  I figure that at this point I need something to redeem the evening.  I settle on two nice looking ones for $1.75 apiece, proceed to the nearest bus stop, and get on the 207.  And I basically ride that all the way home.  Except that it doesn't quite go all the way to my house.  It stops, pulls over, and the ticket girl and all the passengers get off.  So like any self-respecting foreigner I do what all the locals do and get off the bus.  And then I have to climb the stairs to take the pedestrian walkway over the "highway" to get on another bus going the right direction.  And pay another bus fare.  To go about half a mile.  At most.  But it's dark and it's wet and it's worth it. 

So that is how I failed to get to stretching class, and how two little plants saved my spirits and kept me from crying on the streets of Bangkok.  I am now home, safe and sound, and have no intention of getting in a taxi again any time soon. 

Where are you from?

Did you know that where you are from depends on where you are?  Here are some examples of where I have been 'from' in my life:

In Scotland:  from The States
In Argentina: Los Estados Unidos or the US (and definitely NOT from 'America')
In Thailand: America (said with a Thai accent).  If you say anything else you're met with a blank stare
Amongst Americans: Michigan
Amongst people I suspect follow college football: Ann Arbor

Holy Heat Wave, Batman!

While it is officially rainy season here in Bangkok, we've seen nothing but sunshine for the past few days.  And while I love sunshine, it has made things hot hot hot.  And humid.  Today when I got home from school it was about 94F in my apartment, and that was with the blinds closed all day!  There are people in my building who rarely turn on their AC.  I am not one of them.  I sleep with it on every night and definitely turned it on when I got home today!

Amendment added a few hours later:  The rain has come!  Things are finally "cooling off" a bit.  Funny part was walking back from dinner we stopped for ice cream at this place that is literally under a parking structure and the rain started coming in sideways!  Things were flying everywhere.  Wish I had my camera.  One of the food stands there was tied to a giant umbrella, like the kind for your patio table.  If it came down the whole cart was going over, so the lady stood on the umbrella stand holding the pole for dear life.  It was on the edge of the structure so she was getting drenched- except for her hair. She had a plastic grocery bag on her head to protect her hair!  

Busy busy busy

Yesterday I had dinner with a Thai friend, and for the first time since being here, we ate "Thai style".  In true Asian community-orientated fashion, Thais generally order for the table when they eat out, and then everyone shares.  As a newcomer to Thailand this is great because I got to try a variety of dishes.  It's also nice to not have to choose just one menu item and it makes the whole experience more shared and communal.  Good times, great food. 

I am finding that life here is a lot busier than I anticipated.  For one thing, I think I am working longer hours than ever before because of my planning.  I have this awesome smart (Mimio) board in my classroom and I love it- so much that I use it for every lesson.  The downside to this is it takes a larger chunk of time to create the lessons in Mimio.  The upside is that it will all be done for next year!  In the meantime I may need to find a way to quicken the process.  I know there are plenty of people in the world who work much longer hours than I do, but this 6:30-4:00+ is killing me. 

I'm also adding to the busyness by volunteering to lead a Life Group at school, which is basically an after school small group/ Bible study for students. I'm going to co-lead a group of 8th grade girls. I'm so excited about this because it is a chance to go a bit deeper with a few girls and to help them grow in their relationship with God.  So although the time for that and planning for that will be another thing on my schedule, it is completely worth it. 

In addition, I am making some feeble attempts to exercise more often.  And I have not signed up for Thai classes yet, a huge must.  And last night my friend and I discovered that we both really want to get involved with outreach to an orphanage or children's home, so we're looking into a trip we can take to do that.  I'm also spending lots of time (often over dinner) socializing and getting to know people better.  I collapse into bed around 8:30 or 9:00 every night. 

Living on campus it's pretty easy to forget that I live in Thailand, that I can't speak the language, that this place operates in a completely different way than I am used to.  Over time I want to stretch and reach outside of the "bubble" more and more, even with the frustrations that will bring.  The more you get out and interact with the culture the more you encounter the differences and little problems they entail- but without those things I might as well just stayed home!  

Top 5s

Top 5 Ways I Can Tell I Live in Bangkok

1. My snot gets dirty if I am outside for very long.
2. Hardly a day passes that I don't eat rice at least once. 
3. Unless I am going to school I never leave the house without a) a pack of tissues (for TP in public bathrooms) b) my umrella and c) insect repellent from the knee down. 
4. I use my umbrella when it's raining and when it's sunny. 
5. I spend a lot of time sitting in traffic and getting places always takes longer than I expect it is going to because of said traffic.  

Top 5 Ways I Feel Like I Am Still in The US

1. Packs of wild dogs (ok, in the US, maybe that is only on Lawrence Street and in select areas, but still) 
2. English English English all around me all the time. 
3. Cereal, yogurt, and PG Tips tea for breakfast every day.
4. I love writing/journaling, blogging, and reading before bed.
5. I have to work hard to resist the urge to buy all the cute clothes, shoes, and purses I see all over the place. 

Delights and Bummers, and few prayer requests

Delights:

• My students. There are a lot of them, and some of them are very quiet and others are very silly, but I am enjoying getting to know them.  
• The weather.  I know, it's hot and I'm sweaty and all that, but I never wear closed toe shoes or a sweater and I love it.  Just don't leave home without an umbrella!
• Exploring.  Going downtown on my own on Saturday was the best!
• I am reading a great book called "From Buddha to Jesus" that gives me a much better idea of where to start in conversations with Thai non-believers, like my new friend from Wat Saket.  
• There are a lot of great people here.  Maybe too many, as will take time for routines and friendships and groups to form.  But the people I am getting to know have been such a blessing already- baked goods in my school mailbox, notes of encouragement, laughter and talking over dinner, etc. 
• Stretching class.  These people are hilarious.  They were really working yesterday to talk to me (in English) and I was cracking up.  A few of them are a bit crazy, but in a fun and entertaining way.  It's good to be laughing when you are trying to do the splits at the age of 30!  And it has been awesome to get to know my friend Bo better, who goes with me and introduced me to the class.
• Rainy season.  I love it when the sky opens and the rain pours down.  I love it even more when I am watching from home and not standing at a bus stop!
• Teaching Spanish!  And trying to speak Thai.  Sometimes.  Not very often.  Yet. 

Bummers:

• The students here are a slightly different breed than in MI or Argentina.  Can't quite put my finger on it, but can tell I am going to have to adjust some things in my teaching and management style, and soon.  Plus, since there are so many it will be harder than it was at BAICA to get to know them well.
• Friendships take time and you can't force them.  
• Time zone differences make skyping with family a bit tricky, which makes me feel pretty far away sometimes.  
• Down days.  They are a part of transition and a part of adjusting to a new everything.  But knowing that doesn't exactly make them any more fun.  

Ways you can pray for me and my ministry:

• Pray for relationships with my students, that I can connect with them academically (a number of them have struggles with learning, with ESL, with math, or with other social/emotional things) but also spiritually.  Pray that the relationships we build now would open them up to more spiritual conversations.  
• Pray for finding a church home.  There are more churches with English-speaking services than I thought there would be.  I have visited 4 of them and have (maybe?) narrowed it down to 2.  Or 3. There are great things about all of them, and disadvantages to each.  Pray that I can settle in a place with sound doctrine, good preaching, opportunities for ministries of mercy in Thailand, and a community where I can connect and grow. 
• Pray that I can 'find my place' with my schedule and friendships.  I am working on arranging Thai lessons and also some Spanish practice time and know that those things will help my life feel more routine.  I am also really working on being intentional in seeking out relationships to build, but there are a lot of them (which is good!) and I need to find the balance of alone time and relational time. 

Wat Saket and the Golden Mount

With a three day weekend, I decided to use my Saturday to go downtown and do something touristy.  Other people were going back to the weekend market or other shopping, but I've had enough shopping for now and wanted to a) speak some Thai b) take some pictures and c) learn how to get around better downtown.  So last night I flipped through my Lonely Planet and decided to visit Wat (temple) Saket and the Golden Mount today.  I planned out a route that would take me from bus to skytrain to a boat taxi.  My back-up plan was to take a regular taxi instead of the boat taxi if I couldn't find the canal or pier or figure out how to ride the boat.  Bangkok has quite a few canals and they can be a quick and cheap way to get around. 

I managed to find and get on the boat just fine (my transportation experience from Argentina has really been helping me) but wasn't 100% sure where to get off.  When I was pretty sure it was the right stop I double checked with a guy who was getting off there and he said yes, I was in the right place.  As we were walking from the pier he asked me in his broken English where I was going, and then pointed out the way to the temple. but then he decided to practice his English and just walk me there himself.  As we walked he asked me questions, some of which seem very forward to a westerner, but are natural for Thais.  For example, right after 'what is your name?' comes ' how old are you?'.  He was, of course, shocked to find out that I was 30- he was just 24.  He followed that one up with 'do you have a boyfriend' to which I naturally answered, yes. He girlfriend lives in Chiang Mai, unless she's as real as my boyfriend :)  Less than 5 minutes into our conversation Don (Dom? not really sure what he said...) tells me that I am his first foreign friend ever. 

Don (I'll just call him Don since I really couldn't understand what his name was) ended up giving me a bit of a tour of the Wat and Golden Mount.  We walked all around and he explained to me what some things were.  I understood about 75% of what he said.  At one point he asked me if I had been to this town near Bangkok that was the ancient capital with lots of temples.  "Do you want to go there with me next weekend?"  Emmm, no, I have plans, sorry. 

Left on my own, I probably would have done a bit more wandering and a bit more picture taking, but it was fun to make a Thai friend.  Don walked me back to the pier to catch the boat back, we exchanged phone numbers and I was on my way.  It is interesting how being foreign can open up so many doors to conversation! 

On the boat ride back to the skytrain they left the tarps on the sides of the boat down more so I was able to take some pictures of the places along the canal. I made my way back to where I live, stopping to get some clothes for my stretching class on the way (leggings and 3 cheap tanks for $5), and arrived home to find out I had locked myself out.  Since the people with the extra keys weren't home, I had to break in, which was amazingly easy. 

A successful day of adventure, a few Thai phrases, lots of pictures, and a new mode of transportation.  God is good! 

PS- you can click on any photo to enlarge it.